You pose some very good questions, and they are very personal, if you move and you use the state you move into to collect your child support they will collect it for you, be careful becasue sometimes it takes a bit of time to get it right and you are dealing wtih the states. Please work with a local attny.
Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of Massachusetts. Responses are based solely on Massachusetts law unless stated otherwise.
You should pose these questions to a family law attorney in Washington (in the county where the mother and the children live). Child support is being collected in Oregon because your husband lives here, but it does not sound like there's any reason for an Oregon court to have jurisdiction over, custody, parenting time, or child support. Any modification in custody, parenting time, or support would have to take place in Washington's courts. Also, support would be calculated according to Washington's rules.
My responses to posts on AVVO are not legal advice, nor do they create an attorney-client relationship. In order to provide true (and reliable) legal advice, an attorney must be able to ask questions of the person seeking legal advice and to thus gather the appropriate information. In order for an attorney-client relationship to exist, you and I both have to agree the the terms of such an agreement.