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My husband has left the house 8 months ago. I do not know where he is, his address is unknown to me and he won't support me ...

Brooklyn, NY |

My husband has left the house 8 months ago. I do not know where he is, his address is unknown to me and he won't support me at all. Not a single cent have I received.

Even when he lived with me at my mom's apartment, he barely ever paid for anything.

Is there something I can do to get him to make up for all the support he did not give me. He's been sexually, physically, emotionally and financially abusive.

Can I go to the police and file a complaint? Can they help me find him or get him to pay me? Should I go to a certain office to get a petition for that?

Also, I have a restraining order petition but cannot get it to him because I do not know his wherabouts.

What should I do?

He came here via conditional marriage visa in 2011. Since the day he stepped foot into America, he became a different person than the one I loved and married. He was sexually abusive within the first 3 months. In January 2012, he became physically abusive, slapped me and I was diagnosed with a cochlear concussion. He barely paid for anyone while he did stay with me. He stayed with me under my mom's guardianship. I attend college and am paying for my own tuition as well as household expenses since my mother is unemployed. Soon, he will need to file for a re-newel of his green card and he said he'll divorce me if I don't. I also found out that he has recently got a NYC TLC license for 2 years, does that mean he can stay here even if I do not sign the joint petition and he can still stay married to me?

Attorney Answers 3


The police is not going to try to find him and they can't get him to pay you. If you want a divorce, you can file for a divorce and either have him served by publication or serve him at work. If you are not ready to file for divorce, you can file a spousal support petition in family court and serve him in the same fashion that I outline herein. As for recovering for past support or for his abusive nature, you will not be able to recover for that. You can have him served with the restraining order at this place of employment, if he is working.

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Thank you! I'll head over on Monday!

Maria C. Tebano

Maria C. Tebano


Great. Good Luck.


I am sorry that you are going through this. Please file for a divorce by publication since you don't know where he is and seek immediate child support, the faster the better. Take care.

Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of Massachusetts. Responses are based solely on Massachusetts law unless stated otherwise.

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I want him to at least support me financially if he is going to stay married to me and make up for the lack of support int he last 2 years. And if he is going to file for divorce, I would still like some sort of compensation for having trusted in him in a faithful marriage which to me now looks like a complete immigration scam...he used me basically. I can go get a divorce but I do not have the money right now to pay a good lawyer and get what I am due.


The only way to get support is to eithr file for divorce or to file a petition in Family Court. Family Court is easiest and cheaper because there are no filing fees and you don't need a lawyer (although it is always helpful to have one, of course). You will not get support based on his abusive behavior. It will be based on your respective incomes and finances. Locating him is important because he will need to be served with the petition and if you can't serve him, you won't get into court before the judge or support magistrate. If you know he has a TLC licence, then the good news is that he is still in this country. Does he have any friends or relatives in the area who may be in contact with him? Even if they don't tell you where he is, it will provide the basis to request alternative service on a friend or relative if they are likely to be able to deliver the papers to him. Social media websites (like Facebook) can also be a good way to find people. You might want to contact your local Legal Aid Society or Bar Association to see if they can give you some low cost legal assistance.

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