My husband has a mental illnes and has started a collaborative divorce. He is controlling and hired most expensive attorney

Asked almost 2 years ago - Dayton, OH

He talked me into this. Now, as the process has gone on it appears so neutral that it might not be the best option. IE: if he had a psych evaluation the truth would come out, where as these meetings with all these professionals (mental health, accounting, child psychologist)are getting expensive and time consuming. his attorney selected a counselor for my teen daughter who was part of a collaborative team. without my knowledge my attorney called this counselor and then charged me for the consult I didnt know he had.

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Monte Kenneth Snyder

    Contributor Level 12


    Lawyer agrees

    Answered . I agree with Mr. Bock. Please visit my website below for information on all the marital termination procedures available to you, and how to choose an attorney. I personally am no advocate of collaborative divorce, and I don't think it is cheaper in most instances than a contested divorce. Bottom line, if you are dissatisfied with this process, it is not working for you.

  2. James CW Bock


    Contributor Level 14


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . So what is your question? If you are involved in the collaborative process, that is by choice. If you desire to exit the process, inform your attorney. If s/he will not do as you desire, disengage and hir another attorney and use the adversarial process, requesting discovery concerning your husband's medical records to as to use in court to demonstrate why it is in the minor's best interests you be awarded custody and placement. Though realize, no divorce situation is one side's fault and/or problem. There must be give and take and acceptance of partial responsibility, even during a collaborative resolution process. Anyway, the collaborative process is generally far less expensive than litigation, and incorporates the notion cooperation allows the parties to reach a 'better' "YES" than litigating and forcing a settlement through the threat of judicial decisions. Please seek advise and consultation from a family law specialist, even a new attorney if you are uncomfortable with your existing attorney. Good luck.

  3. Donna G Heller

    Contributor Level 13

    Answered . Have you expressed your concerns to your attorney? That may be a good first place to begin. The collaborative process is usually best where the parties have some concern for the well being of the other side, not where people want to crush each other. However, it is important to communicate with whoever is representing you because there are things that come up, even in litigation, where the lawyer may act without seeking the client's advance permission. So you might want to clarify your expectations in this regard. Before things go further, and you continue to feel uncomfortable with the process, maybe a good time to take a step back and get information about which direction will work best for you.


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