Very obvious to me that you need legal representation to assist you in this matter. It clear that your own direct efforts have not been successful, and the current effort to figure it out utilizing the Internet is going to prove equally unhelpful. A detailed private and confidential consultation with qualified local criminal defense counsel is the only thing that will lead to a better outcome.
The solution to your problem begins with the premise that defendants under supervision have no right to pick and choose their parole officers. To address the prohibition against contact with your husband, I suggest that you reach out to the attorney who represented you in the underlying conviction. He or she is most familiar with your unique situation.