My fiancee is making me sign a prenup or he will not marry me. If he keeps his 401K separate will this hurt me later on?

Asked over 5 years ago - Atlanta, GA

He wants to keep the house and 401K as separate property. Will this hurt me later on? I really am not comfortabl doing this but if I want to marry him have no other option.

Additional information

I recently got married and my husband had a house when I met him. He used that money from the sale of that house to purchase a larger house so that we could have a family. He did not put my name on the new house even though we are married. He has now discussed getting a prenup in case we do get divorced, so that I don't receive 50% of the house b/c I'm not entitled to it. I refuse to give him any of MY money to put into the house b/c my name is not on it. I just feel like I need to keep track of all the things I do to this house now. I feel like I'm living my life headed for divorce. Should I just keep a written record of everything or get a prenup? If I just keep a written record will that stand up in court? I do give him $1000 every month to help pay the mortage in the form of a check so that there is a record of it.

Attorney answers (1)

  1. Kenneth V. Zichi

    Contributor Level 16

    Answered . First of all, please understand that you cannot be 'forced' into signing a prenup. If both parties don't agree, it isn't valid, and you will need to state under oath that you have had an opportunity to read and understand the prenup and have consulted with YOUR attorney concerning it, and you agree freely to the terms of it. If you are uncomfortable, and feel this will 'hurt' you, then you need to not sign.

    Secondly, I assume the separate property is designed to be given to his family from a previous marriage? How will it 'hurt' you to 'give up' something you've not had before? MOST prenups will also allow you to keep your property separate, so for example, if you sell your house to move into his, and you therefore don't have a house if he dies or you later divorce, you still have the money from the first house available to buy a replacement. Same with his 401k ... just don't 'co-mingle' your assets and you're no worse off than before.

    I guess the real question you have to ask yourself is why are you uncomfortable with all this? Is it the assumption of divorce that a prenup implies? Is it that the money is more important than the marriage? Is it that you feel this implies he doesn't trust you? There are as many different issues as there are people, but the bottom line is you need to decide is: is the 'comfortability' or lack thereof something that points to a problem in the relationship, or a problem with one of you? If the problem is with either him or the relationship, then perhaps the best thing to do is walk away before you get hurt. If the problem is with you, you need to fix the problem, either by walking away and realizing that this isn't right for you, or by adjusting your attitude so you ARE comfortable.

    Just don't assume that 'it will all work out' without addressing the issue though! Good luck, and if you have legal questions about the agreement itself, don't hesitate to consult with a Georgia Attorney who handles family law and estate planning issues.

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