Skip to main content

My ex has custody of our child and she is currently pregnant and has been physically abused by her boyfriend.

Bronx, NY |

She went back to her boyfriend, after he kicked her and our baby out in the middle of a heat wave, and physically abused her. Prior to going back to him, she said she was going to move to the Dominican Republic and give the baby to me. I feel my son is in imminent danger now that she is back with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend also called to threaten harm to me and my son before she went back to him. I went to court to get an OOP against this man on behalf of my child and was told that because she has custody and I only have visitation, I couldn't file an OOP. I called Child Services who is currently investigating, but I want my son out of a dangerous situation immediately. What can I do?

Attorney Answers 6

Posted

Abuse to the other parent is a cognizable factor in determining custody. If mom cannot defend herself, she cannot defend the baby, and go from there via petition to the family court, having your attorney cite all particulars and the abuse photos of mom.

If you found this "helpful" or "best answer," please click it with my appreciation. My response is for educational purposes and does not constitute legal advice nor creates an attorney client relationship which requires all the details and a personal conference.

Mark as helpful

3 lawyers agree

Posted

File a petition for custody immediately. You should say there has been a change in circumstances based on the fact that the household is a dangerous place. Good luck.

I have been a criminal attorney in New York for almost 25 years. website: Brooklynlaw.net Phone #: 718-208-6094 email: howard@brooklynlaw.net. This answer is only for informational purposes and is not meant as legal advice.

Mark as helpful

6 lawyers agree

1 comment

Asker

Posted

There is a current petition on file for custody and it is pending with the OOP. Is there some sort of motion I can tell my attorney to file? I don't want to say that all court appointed attorneys are terrible, because I've had friends who've had great results from them, who actually took their cases seriously. I got told by my attorney that my case was her "most difficult" case, and up to this point, the issues raised by my ex have been the regular run of the mill retaliation and spiteful things that parents do routinely in Family Court. It kind of tells me that she is not up to par or up to the challenge of adequately representing my case. My attorney finally called me back and told me that depending on what ACS says, she will try and help me. While I understand that she likely has a ton of cases, and a lot of Family Court appointed attorneys serve as Law Guardians... This is my son's life on the line! When I called her to let her know that my ex called me and wanted me to pick up our son immediately, and I wanted her to reach out to my ex's lawyer, so that I couldn't be set up, due to the OOP, she told me to just go and pick up the baby, and I had to remind her that the OOP forbade me from picking him up from anywhere outside of a precinct. I'm really frustrated and at a loss with her, which is why I'm asking these questions online. Thank you.

Posted

I agree with Howard. Either hire an attorney or go to the Family Court and ask for a form to file for a change in custody. Your attorney may be able to file an Order to Show Cause to expedite the matter.

Mark as helpful

6 lawyers agree

1 comment

Asker

Posted

I have an attorney. I've called her several times over these past few days, and she finally called me back (she is court appointed), and told me that based on what ACS says, she will do what she can to help. What can I tell her that I want done? What kind of motion? There is currently a counter petition for custody pending with the OOP case. My next court date isn't until October, and I don't want to wait until then, considering that this is an urgent situation. I doubt anyone wants another Nixzmary situation on their hands! I'm desperate for my son!

Posted

The ex will successfully counter that you are the troublesome entity and your petition for a modification will go nowhere.

Good luck.

Mark as helpful

1 lawyer agrees

1 comment

Asker

Posted

She has visible brusies on her body though. How can I be the troublesome entity? I realize that Family Court clearly caters to women, however, in this case, there is physical abuse going on. Furthermore, whether my son becomes the victim of this abuse in the future is kind of a non-factor, because my argument is that he is likely to suffer emotional abuse from seeing his mother being physically abused. Isn't this neglect on her part? What is it that people have to see in order for it to become a serious issue? Does my son have to become a statistic in order for this to be addressed? This is absolutely insane!!!!

Posted

Take photographs of the child, file for custody, bring the child to a doctor if there are bruises. Consult with an experienced family law attorney to help.

If this answer is helpful, then please mark the helpful button. If this is the best answer, then please indicate it. Thanks. For further information you should see an attorney and discuss the matter completely. If you are in the New York City area, then you can reach me during normal business hours at 718 329 9500 or www.mynewyorkcitylawyer.com.

Mark as helpful

4 lawyers agree

4 comments

Asker

Posted

The bruises are on the mother. My concern is that he is being subjected to seeing his mother being physically abused. That, in and of itself is emotional abuse. My concern is that her boyfriend may eventually take his anger out on my son, if he was so callous as to throw my ex and my son out in the streets in the middle of the night, in the middle of a heat wave... And she is pregnant with his baby.

Asker

Posted

Also, there is currently a petition for custody by me that's on file in the Bronx Family Court.

Jayson Lutzky

Jayson Lutzky

Posted

You may raise issue of child viewing domestic violence as a basis to change custody and a finding of neglect.

Marco Caviglia

Marco Caviglia

Posted

OK...the bruises on the mother photos...they are relevant to potential abuse and danger to the child.

Posted

This is correct - you cannot file for an order of protection against the boyfriend because you lack a famlial connection. That said, you can & should file a petition for modification of custody. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a Bronx Child Custody attorney.

* If you found my answer to be "HELPFUL," or the "BEST ANSWER," please feel free to mark it accordingly.

Mark as helpful

2 lawyers agree

1 comment

Asker

Posted

I was told that it wasn't the familial connection that was the issue, but rather the fact that I did not have custody and only visitation. I have a friend who went through a custody battle, and the non-custodial parent was able to file an OOP against her fiance, based on allegations of verbal abuse from the fiance to the children. It resulted in a big mess where the fiance had to move out of the home because he couldn't be around the children with the temporary OOP until the case went to trial and the allegations were founded/unfounded. Why is it that people can file frivolous reports and petitions that are baseless, and clearly out of retaliation, and they are granted all kinds of ridiculous things that ultimately hurt the child in the long run, but when there are serious child endangerment issues, no one can help! No one cares! It's not until a child becomes a statistic do people wake up and start paying attention. How come my friend's ex was able to get an OOP against her fiance with no proof, and I have proof that my ex was physically abused and it's imperative that someone see the bruising asap, I also have a distressed voicemail from her... Why aren't there any resources to ensure the safety of my child?!

Child abuse topics

Top tips from attorneys

What others are asking

Can't find what you're looking for?

Post a free question on our public forum.

Ask a Question

- or -

Search for lawyers by reviews and ratings.

Find a Lawyer

Browse all legal topics