My collaborative divorce, started by my spouse seems to favor a better outcome for him. Should i continue?

Asked over 1 year ago - New York, NY

Husband has suffered severe depression on and off all marriage. His work hours are extremely erratic. Goes into work mid day and returns late at night. he has not been reliable to help me. he doesnt answer the phone or coordinate. . the collaborative neutral seems to be taking his side to let him try. He denies mental health issue. Could this process be a way of protecting him? giving him more than he would get otherwise? I have tried to press this issue and keep getting a "neutral" response. i dont feel right brushing this under the rug.
I dont want my kids relying on a 20+ years unreliable man. he is also rude and uncooperative behind closed doors but fake to the lawyers. He films me, records me, and padlocks his doors. this seems hostile,. help

Attorney answers (5)

  1. Jeffrey B. Peltz

    Pro

    Contributor Level 15

    8

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . You should have a consultation with an experienced divorce lawyer, if you haven't already done so to know your rights.

  2. David Ivan Bliven

    Pro

    Contributor Level 20

    7

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . If he is that hostile, collaborative law doesn't seem the way to go. You're of course free to raise these concerns to the collaborative law attorney. But you're best advised to schedule a consultation with your own NYC Divorce attorney.

    * If you found my answer to be "HELPFUL," or the "BEST ANSWER," please feel free to mark it accordingly.
  3. David Alexander Browde

    Pro

    Contributor Level 20

    4

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . Under those circumstances you probably will do better with a litigated divorce.

    Under the rules governing the conduct of attorneys in New York it may be necessary to remind you that this answer... more
  4. Jayson Lutzky

    Pro

    Contributor Level 20

    3

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . Apparently the collaborative process is not working for you. Consult with an experienced divorce lawyer to represent you.

    If this answer is helpful, then please mark the helpful button. If this is the best answer, then please indicate... more
  5. Morghan L Richardson

    Pro

    Contributor Level 14

    1

    Lawyer agrees

    Answered . Your collaborative lawyer should be looking out for your best interest. If this is mediation, you can always hire a lawyer to attend with you or advise you in between sessions. Generally, I believe that parties get the best deal when they work together to come to an agreement without involving courts. But if that isn't happening here, don't let yourself feel forced into something just to "get it over with." Contact some lawyers and see the various options you might have available.

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Collaborative divorce is an alternative to contested divorce that involves collaborative sessions between the parties and their lawyers.

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Each party has an attorney. Each party has their own attorney with whom they can discuss - privately - their concerns and goals for the matter. The clients and the attorneys sign a four... more

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