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My 11 year old daughter does not want to go on visitations with her father. Can I get in trouble if I dont force her to go?

Camden, NJ |

I went through a very bad divorce, my husband physically and emotionally abused me in front of my children. My 16 year old son during the divorce proceedings expressed to his father that he wanted nothing to do with him and my 22 yr old has since cut ties as well. I have tried explaining to them that our divorce is between us and try to facilitate a relationship with their father which they all refuse. The divorce was in NJ and we are now in Florida and it will soon be time for my daughter to go to NJ for her court ordered visitation and she has been to the point of tears. She cries and and begs me not to force her to go but its in the court order that he gets her. I am scared to get in trouble but do i have to force her to go against her will at this age?

I can not even get the child to get on the phone and speak with him :( she refuses and when I do force her on the phone she will sit there and just give him the silent treatment and wont speak to him. She said that she is scared, and that she just wants nothing to do with him. But being there is a court order I dont want to go against that but at the same time I dont want to keep upsetting my daughter. She will be 12 later this year, can she decide what she wants?

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Attorney answers 4

Posted

You really need some medical evidence to support your claim that your daughter does not want to see her father.

DISCLAIMER This answer is provided for educational purposes only. By using or participating in this site you agree and understand that there is no attorney client privilege between you and the attorney responding. This site cannot be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney that practices law in the State where this offense is charged; and, who has experience in the area of law you are asking questions about and with whom you would have an attorney client relationship. The law changes frequently and varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. The information and materials provided are general in nature, and may not apply to a specific factual or legal circumstance described in the question, or in the State where this charge is filed

Posted

If there is a court order mandating the visitation than you must do your best to facilitate it even if your daughter does not want to go. Children do not get to control the situation and you do not wnat to expose yoruself to a claim that you are frustrating his relationship with the child. If you believe there are legitimate reasons behind your daughter's position than you need to obtain expert medical or psychological evidence and seek to modify the existing order. Perhaps counselling with dad my be beneficial.

This post is not legal advice and does not create a confidential attorney-client relationship. It is being offered for informational purposes only. You should not relay any confidential or priviliged material in this public forum. You should not rely in this post as legal advice. In order to obtain a more comprehensive answer to your question you should consult with an attoreny of yoru choosing.

Asker

Posted

in the state of indiana the law states that at 14 the childs opinion can be considered in open court but the orders cannot be strayed from until that happens. for children under 14 it states the child can be interviewed in chambers by the judge and a child advocate privately, then the judge can use the information to aid in his decision, but once again orders must be followed until this happens, unless you can get an emergency hearing and court ordered moderation. in indiana the easiest way is "rule to show cause" fill it out and confess that you aren't going to follow the order. i got my hearing in 3 days doing it that way

Posted

You have two very good answers here. You are in a very difficult situation. Perhaps your daughter can speak to the judge? It is difficult to provide an answer without knowing how visitation was ordered in the first place.

Please be advised my answers to questions does not constitute legal advise and you should not rely on it, due to the fact that we have never met, I have not been aprised of the facts in you case nor have I reviewed any documents.

Posted

Respectfully, I do not think you should be discussing this sort of strategy on the web. Call someone and have a completely confidential discussion.

This answer is provided for educational purposes only. By using or participating in this site, you agree and understand that there is no attorney-client privilege between you and the attorney responding. This site cannot be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney that practices law in the State having jurisdiction over your matter, and who has experience in the area of law you are asking questions about, and with whom you would have an attorney-client relationship. The law changes frequently and varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. The information and materials provided are general in nature, and may not apply to a specific factual or legal circumstance described in the question, or in the State having jurisdiction over your matter.

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