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My 10 year old daughter decided she wanted to live with (dad) instead of mother. We have 50/50 custody in Illinois.

Murphysboro, IL |

Current custody is split 50/50 but mother has custodial. Her mother is currently separating from her husband and I feel like she needs to be where she is comfortable.

Attorney Answers 4

Posted

So lawyer up and get into court. Assuming that there is some conflict, tension, stress, violence, whatever, going on in the mother's household, it might, possibly, be a good idea to transition the child from 50/50 to spending more time at Dad's house.

You'll need a lawyer and a lot of facts.

Don't shrink from the task. At the very least you'll be able to talk it out with Mom and come up with a solution that is best for the child. If Mom doesn't agree with your analysis, a judge will be happy to resolve the issue.

Job one = find a lawyer.

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Asker

Posted

I don't think there is any violence issue it's just not working with then. I know her husband was having an affair a few years ago I don't think that's been resolved. I just think my daughter would be happier where she is comfortable and not so many new things thrown at her. She also told me she would rather come live with me. At 10 can she tell a judge that? Or is she to young?

Wes Cowell

Wes Cowell

Posted

It's up to you and the judge whether she speaks to the judge. It's up to you in that you won't get what you don't ask for. You have to ask to have the child speak with the judge. Ultimately, however, it's up to the judge if he/she will speak with the child. Judges don't like to bring kids in to court in their parents' divorce case. Judge try to work around that possibility any way they can and will fall back on the child's statements only rarely. Back to you: You're putting the cart way out in front of the horse. You need to TALK with an attorney. Pick up the phone and make some calls. Even if you don't seek to modify the residential or parenting schedule status, there are still plenty of things you can do to help your daughter. You need good legal counsel and advice. TALK with an attorney.

Posted

mother has custodial what? do you and she have joint custody, which means you share decisions about education, health care and religion? is the order more than two years old? how do you know child is not comfortable with mom especially if new husband is leaving?

take all your court papers to a lawyer for a consultation.

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Asker

Posted

We have 50/50 custody so both of us make all decisions. We have have about the same time but during the week she always sleeps at her mothers. My daughter basically wants to sleep at my house and have my home be her permanent residence. I don't think she's uncomfortable at her moms house, her mom is just moving because she is getting divorced from my daughter step father. They've been together since she was a baby, so she's taking it pretty hard.

Posted

Hire a lawyer. Change in residence can be a complex matter. The fact that your son wishes to move from his mother's home is not sufficient to secure a order unless his mother is in agreement.

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Posted

Children can never decide where they want to live in Illinois. The opinion of a child is taken into consideration along with many other factors to determine whether clear and convincing evidence exists such that modifying the current custody arrangement is in the best interest of the child. However, if the order setting up the current custody arrangement was entered less than two years ago, you must show the child is seriously endangered by the current custody arrangement. This is not an easy task. You need to consult with an attorney to determine whether your situation would warrant a change in custody.

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