You need to file what is called a "move away" case. You have to file an Order to Show Cause stating that you want to modify the visitation plan so that you can take your child to VA where you have a job, etc. Your ex should not be able to take custody away from you simply because you do not have a job. You could also file a request for increased child support based upon your loss of income. Move away cases are difficult, and should be done with an attorney.

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This is not legal advice nor intended to create an attorney-client relationship. This is a statement regarding general law and options that may or may not apply directly to your situation. You should consult with an attorney directly.

Move aways are never easy; neither for the parents nor the children involved. If you and your ex can not reach an agreement between yourselves, you will have to file a motion with the court (order to show cause) requesting the move away and, possibly, additional child support. The standard that the court will apply is "the best interest of the child". This is what the court will focus on. You will have to show that this move is in the best interest of your child. You are asking the court to allow you to take your child to live, permanently, approximately 3000 miles away from the father. That is very traumatic and disruptive to a young person's life. But it does happen (more and more in today's economic market), and can be successful if done properly. This will not be easy for anyone. I strongly urge you to seek a mediation or collaborative team of professionals to help you and your ex reach the best possible resolution under the circumstances. Your team of professionals should include a child specialist who can act as the voice of the child in the process to keep you both focused on him/her rather than your own personal needs above all else. This is not a criticism on either of you as parents. Most family attorneys have seen wonderful parents completely loose sight of the true interests of the children and not even realize it. The child specialist will be an invaluable asset to your team. And, overall (financially, emotionally, and time-wise), the cost will be far less than fighting in court. Unfortunately, unless you are both able commit to this type of process, use the resources available, and come to an agreement, that is exactly where you will end up.

If you and your ex would like to learn more about healthier options for move-ways and any other modifications, feel free to visit my web site or e-mail me directly. This is one of the most difficult times you will experience in your life. Do it right with as little damage to your child or yourself as possible. The resources are there.

Best of luck to you both.

This is not legal advice nor intended to create an attorney-client relationship. This is a statement regarding general law and options that may or may not apply directly to your situation. You should consult with an attorney directly.

Unless the other party agrees, the only way to go about accomplishing a "move away" is by filing an OSC with the Court wherein you request the permission of the Court to move away. You will need to demonstrate a number of factors, most importantly, that the move is in the best interests of the child.

This is general information about California custody law, not legal advice for any particular case. It is impossible to give individual advice of any value without review of your existing child custody orders, and an in-depth interview.

California law makes it difficult for a parent who only has a 20% timeshare to successfully oppose a relocation request. That parent must show in his or her written opposition to the OSC requesting a move, that the move would be detrimental for the child. At the hearing, the parent must show that a change of custody is in the child's best interests. Those are difficult things for a 20% timeshare parent to show.

The parent who wants to move should have a history of encouraging the relationship between the child and the other parent, and should have a detailed proposal for a long-distance custody plan that is economically feasible, and age-appropriate.

The parent who wants to move must either negotiate a stipulated order modifying the existing parenting plan orders, or seek modification of those orders from the Court in an Order to Show Cause proceeding. Typically it can take months, or even years, to bring a moveaway case to hearing and to get the plan modified, if the other parent can persuade the court that the move would be detrimental for the child.

It is very difficult to develop a child-friendly long-distance parenting plan for a 3-year-old, because young children need to experience frequent caregiving from a parent in order to sustain a meaningful bond with that parent. Typically we do not separate three-year-olds from either parent for more than a few days.