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Joint custody, what rights as a father do i have

Avon, NY |

I am very confused by this joint custody thing, i thought it was that two parents are to work together on raising this child, but it seems like i am just a glorified babysitter, when i make a suggestion about our child i get told no without discussion,who do i talk to without having to pay 5000 for a lawyer, do i put in a voilation of order and have the judge explain things to me, i am so confused. who can i talk to about question about my custody order?

Attorney Answers 2

  1. It is possible to have joint physical (parenting time) custody, joint legal (decision making) custody or both. If you have joint legal custody, then that means you are supposed to make major decisions for your child together. In theory, and for some families, joint custody works very well, but only if the parents can truly collaborate. In many cases, it is simply impossible to agree on every decision, but perhaps you can agree to fairly allocate the "final say". There are a million ways to work out a solution, and anything you and the other parent can work out together will be better than whatever the court works out for you. If that's not happening, then the court may have to reconsider the custody decision.

  2. There are two types of custody, legal and physical/residential. In a joint legal custody situation both parents are supposed to work together in making decisions on behalf of the child or children. If the Mother refuses to involve you in the decision making process she could be in violation of an order of joint custody, however, without seeing the order it is difficult for me to give an accurate answer. You could certainly have a basis to file a violation petition against her. I would consult an attorney or go to Family Court and see if they can assist you.

    Legal disclaimer: This is not legal advice and is not intended to create an attorney-client relationship. The post is only an opinion. You should speak to an attorney for further information. I try and answer questions in terms that the readers will understand. The poster is licensed only in NY, CT & NJ. If you have any further questions or would like to speak to me about your case, you can reach me at If this post is useful to you, please remember to upvote it.

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