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Is there something that I can do?

Brooklyn, NY |

My ex-wife has full custody of both of my daughters (ages 5 and 3) and she recently moved in with her boyfriend and is now threatening to not let me see my youngest daughter. She keeps harassing me and went as far as to tell me "sign over your parental rights" so her boyfriend can adopt her because "he's done more for her than you ever did", which is not true at all. As a father I take offense to what she's been telling me, like a big slap to the face. I get my kids every other weekend and I am up to date with my child support. Is there anything I can do to stop all of this back and forth with her? There's so much I can take and now it's starting to take a toll on me physically and mentally.

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Attorney answers 4


Unless, she harasses you in some way that is deemed criminal, you can't stop her from being a jerk.


Keep detailed notes, and when you really can't stand it any longer consult with a local Family Law attorney. If she disparages you in front of the children, or withholds visitation, you may have grounds for a Petition. However, until it affects your relationship with the kids, you are better off trying to be thick skinned about it.

I am not your attorney and any posts/messages or responses to posts/messages can not establish an attorney-client relationship. You should not rely upon free legal advice and I disclaim any liability for the results if you do.


No. I think you're stuck. A court cannot make a parent reborn.

Good luck.


Review your final decree, and if applicable, any subsequent modifications to your visitation and custody arrangement. Are there any provisions relating to no overnight adult guests or live-ins when the children are present? Telling you to cave is a mind game, but in itself won't get far with a court, so the advice of thick skin is very appropriate. Denial of visitation or ignoring other aspects of the custody and visitation terms is another matter. Just don't try to make a small molehill into the Catskills. Judges tend to really not like overstated claims.



In the divorce decree (which is an uncontested divorce) that became official as of January of this year, for visitation it says: Ordered and adjudged that the defendant (me) shall have visitation with the minor children of the marriage "Away from the custodial residence as the parties may agree". Ever since my ex-wife filed for divorce and moved out last year, I was always getting the kids every other weekend as agreed upon even before the divorce became official and it's always been like that ever since, until recently with the threats from my ex-wife of not possibly letting me see my youngest daughter.

Kevin H. Pate

Kevin H. Pate


If she does deny visitation, you should speak to a local attorney. You've got some unfavorable language working there, since you agreed to visitation "as the parties may agree" and it sounds as though she may no longer agree to every other weekend. But, if she cuts off visitation entirely and repeats the just give up your rights mantra, definitely speak to a local attorney versed in family law.

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