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Is there any legal recourse that I can take to get back the money I loaned 10 yrs ago to an ex-boyfriend?

Lake Forest, CA |

I paid for his upkeep during the five years we were together so that he could go to aviation school. Paid absolutely everything, so he had no expenses. He made many promises and based on those promises I took care of him. When he finally broke up with me, I wrote down debts that he owed me for certain things, which came to a total of $55k approx. We had it notarized and he agreed to pay. A few months later, he refused to pay. A year and a half later I had to declare myself in BK. Then he said that he didn't have to pay me because my debt had been dismissed. What he has with me is a moral debt. I owed him that money and took care of him based on promises that he continually made to me. He's now a pilot with a great airline and makes good money. What can I legally do?

I meant to say "I loaned" him that money... He wouldn't have been able to get his pilot license and be where he is now without my help. He never had to pay for anything: rent, utilities, his bills, clothes, food, trips, etc. I bought him a car, & I paid the monthly payments, & car insurance. This is a moral issue. It's about integrity. I still have the note that he signed agreeing to pay $600/month until the debt was paid. It shows every amount loaned to him and for what it was. We both signed it in front of the Notary Public.

Attorney Answers 4


  1. Best answer

    Unfortunately, nothing. Your boyfriend's promise is barred by the four-year statute of limitations. In addition, it became an asset of the bankruptcy estate, and the trustee became the legal owner. Unless it was transferred back to you at some point during or after the bankruptcy, he does not owe you the money.


  2. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way and Shakespeare admonished "never a borrower nor a lender be." He's a jerk, but at least you didn't marry him & I hope you didn't have children with him! Let it go so better things can come into your life. Hope this perspective helps!


  3. What a jerk!

    The above is general legal and business analysis. It is not "legal advise" but analysis, and different lawyers may analyse this matter differently, especially if there are additional facts not reflected in the question. I am not your attorney until retained by a written retainer agreement signed by both of us. I am only licensed in California. See also avvo.com terms and conditions item 9, incorporated as if it was reprinted here. Please visit my web site: www.avanesianlaw.com for more information about my services.


  4. You have 2 issues. First is the Statute of Limitations. The 4 year statute runs from the date of default, which might be the payment date the last time when he promised to pay you. If the written contract does not contain a payment date, it might be construed as being payable "on demand." The second issue is the BK. The BK did not absolve him from his obligation to you. However, depending upon how the paperwork was done, it became an asset of the BK estate (administered by the Trustee), not your personal asset. If the Trustee informally abandoned this asset, you might have standing to sue. You should have a BK lawyer review the specifics of your BK to determine this.