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Is it reasonable to ask for more visitation time with my child during summer vacations and holiday breaks.

Fallbrook, CA |

School isnt in session during the breaks and the only reason I have less custody during school days is the distance between us parents. We currently have 50/50 during breaks and since I have only 25% during school year I would like to have more than 50% during breaks to have more time to spend with child. I also would like to have three weekends a month during the school year not two which was a recomendation by a counselor but somehow our last order didnt reflect that even though we adopted the counselors recommendation. I had one attorney tell me this wasnt possible to pick up more time for no other reason than he said "The courts dont do this" The child also wants more time with I have a chance at my request or is that attorney right courts wont do that?

I dont want to start down a path that isnt possible to change. The child is in middle school if that matters

Attorney Answers 1


Family Code 3042 requires courts to now consider the wishes of children, but only if the child is of sufficient age, intelligence and maturity to make a good decision that's really in their own best interest. So the fact your child wants more time could be a "change of circumstance" (which is generally required to modify a court order for custody or visitation. To be successful, you need to establish a nexus between what you want the court to do and HOW it will benefit your child. Asking because you think it's fair or want it will not matter and how much did you consider the benefit to keeping a working schedule in place. Kids usually don't like changes and they also might say one thing to mom and something else to dad and then say nothing helpful to a counselor if asked. And you shouldn't talk about it with your child because they just feel like it puts them in the middle and that can only lead to loyalty conflicts with one or the other parent. You can change the schedule but it really is very complicated with no guaranteed results. Talk to a couple lawyers who do custody work before you do anything.

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Because I do have my child's best interest here and I do understand how kids can say one thing to one parent ....would an attorney for the child a 12 year old help....

Richard Glenn Freed

Richard Glenn Freed


It honestly depends on the caliber of the attorney selected as minor's counsel. I am NOT a big fan of having kids involved; it forces them to take sides when it's really the last thing they want to do. Loyalty for a 12 year old is usually humongous. Courts now can let 14 years testify. Sometimes it helps but not without costs. Of course you are doing what you believe to be best. Minor's counsel are picked by a judge from a court list. They're all well trained and give 110% but some seem to have insights and the common sense to know BS when they see it which goes a long way when you're trying to just afford your boy a reasonable normal and safe childhood. Best bet. Talk to three good lawyers and listen for some consensus in their opinions. Good luck.



As his mother and a good mother with my child best interest here I know he needs me more I appreciate yourfeedback its good food for thought..I am my childs mom and seriously I know more than any legal person what is best for him because I am his mom, no one in the courts know his dreams and wishes and likes etc . I hate having to deal with the courts but I have an ex who says he will always take his chances with a judge and not negotiate with me or listen to our child. Bottom line is I grew him in my belly I made the right choices growing him healthy and with love, this legal system insults my parenting and it very painful to raise a child through the legal system it sucks really sucks because what sounds great legally on paper doesnt always equate to being livable in real life. I am the one who wipes the tears and deals with the temper tantrums who hears the please and begging to stay with me more and its painful to have to go through a court to get more time...just not natural. So I am going to take what you have said research more what to do and interview some attorneys in person. This is part of my research and once again thanks for being blunt I am not looking for sugar coated answers.

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