DON'T!!!!!!! Such an agreement will NOT be honored by the court. He will take your $$$ and still file for custody. I hope you have an attorney for the DHS case and that you are following his advice AND doing what the court expects you to do. If not, the father has a bigger chance of getting custody. Good luck.
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You are concerned that father may be awarded sole custody of your child. This thought is apparently very disturbing to you. However, before you take any action, you should first find out what an award of sole legal custody does and does not mean and whether it is even plausible in your case that father might be awarded sole legal custody. The factors to be considered by the court in awarding sole custody are set out in ORS 107.137. I urge you to review these factors and your situation with an attorney experienced with Oregon family law before taking any action.
You are under a lot of stress with your finance causing DHS to have concerns, the children being taken, and your ex not trying to work out a reasonable solution to the custody dispute. It is time for you to seek out a lawyer. You are going to need help with this process as your particular situation is complicated.
Seek out a family law lawyer in your area to represent you through the custody process.
Do not offer him money to stop fighting-that won't be binding upon him. Meaning he won't have to keep his "promise" to not fight you if you pay him off.
Best of luck to you!
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