He is using items he found against me in an ongoing custody case for our children. I don't understand how this is allowed. I also found footage from cameras he had hidden in our home, and evidence that he tapped our phone lines and had me followed and photographed. He even admitted to having my mail stopped so he could go through it. No matter who I have contacted, it seems like I am getting the same answer: yes it is illegal, but there's no direction for me to go as far as having him prosecuted. In addition, this information seems to be readily accepted by attorneys, evaluators and others in the custody case. I don't understand how he has gotten away with all this. Any ideas on where to start?
State's Attorney is the gatekeeper on who to prosecute. If they won't, then "that's that."
But the underlying problem is that you are turned around, ie worked up to the point where you can't sleep at night/think straight/function. Happens all the time in custody cases. The turned around parent (That's you) often confuses what they want done, versus what needs to be done. If he's finding gold to use against you, then you are blind to the underlying problem. If the 604b/604.5 puts this gold in their forensic reports, then you have an even bigger problem.
Often I have to give my clients the "facts of life" talk, along with a draconian list of things they have to do ASAP to prevent the case from spilling out of control. Those that don't listen always lose. Hopefully you've been given a list, or something similar, if you have counsel.
Bottomline, talk to a family law attorney in your area for specific guidance.