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Is a pattern like this enough to prove Undue Influence, Exploitation, or something else?

Toms River, NJ |

My father had Alzheimers , was a senior , & my sister's husband stole his identity . My sister denies involvement . My grandmother was ill and a senior . She alleges my sister convinced her to give her thousands . She also alleges that my sister stole from her . When my grandmother took back her finances , my sister never spoke to her again . I am a disabled adult . My sister cried about hard luck to me so I paid thousands for vacations for her , Christmas gifts for her son from " Santa " , food , and clothes . When I told her I was having rough financial times , she hasn't spoken to me since . Now she's getting thousands from our mom ( senior ) . My mom doesn't believe that my sister is conning her too . If I pressed charges for me , would the pattern of her senior / disabled cons help me ?

My sister also borrowed $15,000 from my aunt who is a senior and never paid it back nor spoke to my aunt again. My sister's husband has a severe gambling problem and that's why I believe that she and her husband try to con family members. Nobody ever pressed charges because they didn't want her son to be hurt. More info in comment under Mr. Potter's reply.

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Attorney answers 3


The facts as you lay them out appear to be Elder Abuse and possibly Fraud. I'd immediately seek the advice of a New Jersey-licensed Estate Planning or Elder Law attorney and if necessary the State Attorney General's office - Elder Abuse task force. Good Luck!



While my mom was in the hospital, my sister was using my mom's money for herself. I told my sister to stop or I'd have to call Adult Protective Services. My sister convinced my mom that I abused my POA by threatening that. I got word that my sister was taking my mom to her attorney to revoke my POA. I contacted my mom's attorney and told him about my dad and grandma but not about me and my aunt being scammed. My mom's attorney revoked my POA anyway and told me he didn't feel I should contact APS. I guess because my mother insists that she allowed my sister to take the money. I freely gave to my sister too but if I knew she'd never talk to me again the second I didn't have any money to give her, I wouldn't have given her anything. I feel conned and my mother's attorney doesn't understand that my sister is conning my mom too.

Lawrence A Friedman

Lawrence A Friedman


If your mom has capacity, she has the right to favor your sister even if you disagree and even if that may not be in your mom's financial interest. However, if your mom's capacity is questionable or your sister is pressuring her improperly, there could be elder abuse. If your mom is working with a knowledgeable elder law attorney, she probably isn't being abused by your sister, but if the attorney is a general lawyer or your sister's lawyer, maybe there is abuse. You could consult an elder law attorney, but fees can add up quickly in contested issues. Lawrence Friedman, Bridgewater, NJ. Certified as an Elder Law Attorney by the ABA approved National Elder Law Foundation, former Chair NJ State Bar Association Elder and Disabilities Law Section, Member Board of Consultors of NJSBA Real Property, Trusts & Estates Law Section, Vice Chair Special Needs Law Section of National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, and Master of Laws (LL.M.) in Taxation from N.Y.U. School of Law. Visit for articles and Q&A on elder law, special needs, wills, trusts, estates, and tax. Visit and subscribe for free timely updates to be delivered to your inbox. Information on both Avvo and does not constitute legal advice, as it is general in nature and may not apply to your situation or be subject to important changes. No attorney client relationship exists unless set forth in written engagement terms.


I agree with Attorney Potter that the facts as you describe them might be fraud. Please consult an experienced attorney in your area. Avvo is a good place to find one.

This posting is for informational purposes only. It is not legal advice, nor does it establish an attorney-client relationship. For more information, please visit


This could be considered elder abuse and/or undue influence but it becomes more complicated in family situations and whether you or the other family members had capacity to consent. You may want to consider contacting Adult Protective Services to protect your mother. You should also consult with an Elder Law Attorney in New Jersey. Ingrid M. Evans,, California

The information provided on this website by my answer to this question does not constitute legal advice. This website is not intended to create an attorney-client relationship between you and The Evans Law Firm or any of its attorneys. An attorney-client relationship is not created except when the prospective client and the Evans Law Firm enter into a written, contractual agreement for representation. Inquiries and responses by email do not constitute an attorney-client relationship. You should not rely on the information provided on the website without seeking the advice of an attorney licensed to practice in law in your state. Further, the information on this website is not guaranteed to be accurate, correct, complete, or up to date and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Evans Law Firm or any of its attorneys. For more information about The Evans Law Firm, please see

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