The father of my child and I are supposed to have shared custody. He is supposed to come and see her every other weekend, but he has only seen her once for an hour after court. She is 9 months old and i just started getting child support. My main question is, i want to get full custody, because when i go on deployment, i don't want him to try to take her away from family. She will be going to Texas to stay with them when i leave. Its been more then 6 months since we went to mediation, and I leave for 2 months in april and she will go to Texas
General Practice Lawyer
Generally speaking, as I'm not licensed in California, your husband will have a right to take custody of her when you deploy because he's the father and has that parental right. Even if you were awarded full custody its still possible that that would be the case because he's the father and has a parental right to see his child. To limit/prohibit his ability to see the child you would likely have to show he's an unfit parent.
On the other hand, you can encourage him to not want physical custody while you're deployed by explaining all the work that goes into caring for a 9 month old, the loss of sleep, and all of the added expenses he'll incur (child care, diapers, etc.). If he really loves her and wants to care for her he won't care about the extra trouble and expenses and will care for her well while you're gone; if he's half-hearted about being the father then you may very well be able to convince him that your family should care for her while you're gone to save him the trouble (i.e., you can make it sound like you're doing him a favor by your family taking care of your daughter). Make sense? Sometimes being persuasive and creative can be more effective than seeking a final decision in court.
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3 lawyers agree
You should immediately see a family law attorney immediately.
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1 lawyer agrees
Military Law Attorney
The gentlemen above are absolutely correct, and as difficult as it may seem, a parent trumps all others unless shown to be unfit.
It is absolutely imperative that your custody agreement includes a clause about what happens if you deploy. An agreement will not totally prevent him from seeking custody while you are gone, but if it is written well, in most states his efforts in court will be more difficult and even if he takes custody during the deployment, appropriate clauses in the agreement will ensure your child is returned to you once you redeploy.
Andrew Cherkasky of Cherkasky Law, LLC is an Illinois attorney focused on military & criminal defense. The advice given does not form an attorney-client relationship. The advice above is intended to educate on general legal principles and theories and should not be considered state specific advice. Please call anytime, day or night, to discuss further, 703-314-6475.
Criminal Defense Attorney
As the other attorneys have stated, your best course of action would be to come to some agreement with the father because there can be serious consequences when one parent denies the other their parental rights, especially when they are court ordered. Outside an emergency hearing, there is not enough time to file and be heard prior to deployment. I would be happy to sit down with you for a consultation.
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