I am not licensed in your state, but you should be looking for and find another attorney and file your grievance later. Take care of you first. Even if you can force your attorney to protect your interests while you do this, clearly the trust and confidence between you has been eroded.
An attorney is not hostage to any client or matter. No client should try to hold an attorney hostage, even when there are sound financial problems that might make replacement counsel difficult. If you file a formal grievance against your attorney, realistically your attorney can no longer represent you to the degree of skill and care that you require. If the relationship can be salvaged, fine. If you must make a formal complaint, you must replace the complained of attorney. For both your sake and the lawyer's.
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You are not stuck with an attorney and an attorney is not stuck with a client. If you can't afford a new attorney, then presumably you can't afford your current attorney. Attorneys are not required to work for free - that alone would often allow a court to let him end the representation.
Further, as soon as you file a grievance against him, that would also suffice as a reason to end the representation, which a court would grant.
That said, an attorney has an obligation to keep a client informed and to respond timely.
Each case is fact senstive, so all answers should be viewed as general advice only, and should never replace a thorough and in depth consultation with an experienced attorney. Further, an answer should not be seen as establishing an attorney-client relationship.