TMI and all that that reveals.
Really, there are so many sites here on the Internet that invite your best literary efforts. You can peddle these scenarios there more productively.
My responses to questions on Avvo are never intended as legal advice and must not be relied upon as legal advice. I give legal advice only in the course of an attorney-client relationship. Exchange of information through Avvo's Questions forum does not establish an attorney-client relationship with me. That relationship is established only by individual consultation and execution of a written agreement for legal services.
"[C]an I press charges but keep it secret?" -- No. Apparently you're irresistible to both men and women. Perhaps a change in jobs without co-workers is more appropriate for you. Or, as Ms. McCall suggests, you should put your fictional writing skills to better use elsewhere.
I am licensed in California only and my answers on Avvo assume California law. Answers provided by me are for general information only. They are not legal advice. Answers must not be relied upon. Legal advice must be based on the interplay between specific exact facts and the law. This forum does not allow for the discussion of that interplay. My answer to any specific question would likely be different if that interplay were explored during an attorney-client relationship. I provide legal advice during the course of an attorney-client relationship only. The exchange of information through this forum does not establish such a relationship. That relationship is established only by personal and direct consultation with me followed by the execution of a written attorney-client agreement signed by each of us. The communications on this website are not privileged or confidential and I assume no duty to anyone by my participation on Avvo or because I have answered or commented on a question. All legal proceedings involve deadlines and time limiting statutes. So that legal rights are not lost for failure to timely take appropriate action and because I do not provide legal advice in answer to any question, if you are an interested party you should promptly and personally consult with an attorney for legal advice. Also, see Avvo's terms and conditions of use, specifically item 9, incorporated by this reference
While I also have my doubts about the veracity of your claims, I am going to assume that you are serious and that this has happened to you. If it has, you must understand how difficult it is for us to accept because it is so bizarre.
There is no way to proceed with reporting this blackmailer with a guarantee that your wife will not find out. Certainly, you can (and should) immediately call the police or go to the police station and report this situation. You can ask the police to keep it confidential, but they have no duty to do so. You will have to explain why you have been called to testify in court hearings as well.
If you do report this, the crime may be criminal extortion instead of rape.
And keep in mind, if you do report, you will probably face the same incredulous response that you did here.
We all end up facing the consequences of our bad decisions. Yours was to cheat on your wife, and then complicate it by agreeing to this plan. Keep it in your pants and be more responsible and you will avoid these kinds of situations.
This answer should not be construed to create any attorney-client relationship. Such a relationship can be formed only through the mutual execution of an attorney-client agreement. The answer given is based on the extremely limited facts provided and the proper course of action might change significantly with the introduction of other facts. All who read this answer should not rely on the answer to govern their conduct. Please seek the advice of competent counsel after disclosing all facts to that attorney. This answer is intended for California residents only. The answering party is only licensed to practice in the State of California.