I'm 16 and have a wonderful relationship with my 21 yr-old boyfriend. How do I keep him out of jail?

Asked over 2 years ago - Portland, OR

So I ran away from home to be with my boyfriend that is 21 years old and I'm only 16. I'm madly in love with him and I was successfully living with him for a month. We thought we'd be together forever and we started trying for a baby. But I also took the risk of having unprotected sex with him and he was born with AIDS. The cops took me away from him and now I'm forbidden to see him. I haven't eaten in days nor slept because of my depression. I don't want my boyfriend to go to jail or prison. I want to live with him and have a family with him and be by his side so he's not alone through his days with AIDS. I just got tested for the infection today and it turned out negative. How do I keep him out of jail? He's a great man and can take care of me. I can't lose him. Someone please help.

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Joanne Reisman

    Contributor Level 16


    Lawyers agree


    Answered . A great man doesn't expose a women to aids or have sex with a minor. If he really loved you he would have waited until you turned 18 and then gone with you to a doctor to discuss safe ways to have a baby with someone infected with AIDs.

    A person with AID's is facing many challenges. If he is currently controlling the disease with medication maybe he is able to work, but until there is a successful cure or the disease is in remission, he will have difficulty taking care of himself much less you and a baby. You are truly 16 - a minor and immature. because if you were an adult and mature you would have stopped to think about this baby and what kind of life this would be for that baby rather than your own selfish emotional needs.

    You need to stop trying to make babies and finding love in the wrong places and put your time and energy into figuring out how you are going to turn into a mature women capable of financially supporting herself, and hopefully with the means to someday have a baby and provide that baby with a good home.

    Maybe your home life isn't all that great and this is how you rebel against your parents. But at the end of the day you don't win the grand prize. You will find yourself in a worse situation with more emotional and financial problems then you are capable of handling.

    Falling in love at sweet sixteen is very romantic and we all remember our loves at that age. It is part of growing up. But it is also a time to learning to spot when you young emotions take you off course and threaten your future.

    I don't think there is much you can do to help him right now. He will probably be restrained from further contact with you until you turn 18. Use that time away from him wisely. Finish your education and figure out how you are going to support yourself. Go out with other people. Then when you turn 18, try to look at this guy and your life more objectively before you go back to a relationship with him.

    The comments by this author to questions posted on Avvo are designed to foster a general understanding of what... more
  2. Jeffrey S Merrick

    Contributor Level 12


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . Dear young person,

    I have no legal advice for you.

    Please try to find a responsible adult to help guide you to the answers that are right for you. If your parents cannot fulfill that role, maybe someone else: an aunt? grandma? clergy member?

    As the other attorney said, your current boyfriend is not showing much love or affection for you if he is having unprotected sex with you. That is a selfish act, not a giving act of someone who wants to take care of you.

    Good luck.

  3. J Christopher Minor

    Contributor Level 14


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . The world looks a great deal different when you are 16 and healthy than it will when you are 30, particularly if you have aids. I am sorry to be blunt, because I know you are feeling a great sense of loss, but as others have implied, this guy is pretty selfish.

    At this stage of your life you have an obligation to yourself: to grow up, to be educated, to develop into an adult. You are in no position to care for this 21 year old, let alone a child.

    You need to seek help for your depression and get on with your life. There is a reason society forbids the conduct for which your boy friend is (or should be) now in jail.

    Good luck to you. Your future is certain to be better.

    This comment is general in nature and is not intended as legal advice. It does not create an attorney client... more

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