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I have physical custody of our 2 kids he had them this weekend and didn't bring them home what do I do.

California |

we have been divorced for a few years and i have physical custody. i recently started dating a women and he doesnt like that. he had the kids this weekend and didnt bring them back. he said he was going to keep them and file for solo custody because he didnt approve of my relationship. what do i do to get my kids back and can the courts hold my same sex relationship against me.

Attorney Answers 3


  1. Best answer

    I would suggest that you take your court order to the police department and see if they will pay the father a visit and get the children back to you. If the current order clearly states the children should be with you at this time, the police may assist you.

    If the police will help, you can file an Ex Parte Order to Show Cause with the Court regarding Custody. If done properly, you can get before the Judicial officer by Wednesday. Hopefully, the Judicial Officer will order your ex to return the children to you immediately.

    Do not worry about your ex's threats. He may cost you money because of his beliefs and hurt male ego, but your relationship should not cause a change in custody unless:

    1. Your partner somehow places the children at risk; or
    2. Your children have serious emotional problems with your having a same sex relationship and therefore need mental health care counseling of some sort in order to accept the situation.

    I have been answering many questions on AVVO and giving my opinion of what will occur if a matter went before a judicial officer based upon the facts as I understand them. However, I want to point out that such an opinion is based upon many factors, not the least of which is that the party have an experienced family law attorney representing them on the matter. If facts and issues of law are not properly placed before the court, the results could be very different than otherwise expected.

    The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change.


  2. Courts will look at what is in best interests of child whether you are dating a man or a woman. In the meantime he is in violation of court order. Let him know if kids are not back by end of today you will file an OSC re Contempt against him.

    The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change.


  3. Make sure you immediately file an emergency (ex parte) request for return of the children and, if you feel as though he will keep the kids again, a request for temporary supervised visitation until this issue can be worked out.

    Please do not be afraid that the judge will hold your same-sex relationship against you. Also, just as you can't keep the kids from him just because you don't like someone he chooses to date, he cannot do so either. That is unacceptable behavior and while he can try to file for a modification in custody, he can't just violate court orders in the meantime.

    If you haven't filed a police report or contacted the police, make sure you have a copy of your orders and contact them immediately.

    Stay strong and don't be afraid of your ex.

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