Skip to main content

I have been with the same guy for 8 years, we have 2 sons and I'm currently pregnant with our third child. Can I sue him?

Alexandria, VA |

he's been cheating on me for the past 3 years, bought 2 ducati motorcycles and doesn't pay a dime to the kids. He promised if I moved out of my parents he would help with rent, he did give me $200 towards the $1400 rent but I could not afford it and I was not able to buy groceries. The woman he cheated on me with loaned him the money for the motorcycle and he was paying her $625 a month for the motorcycle. Do I have a chance to win?

Attorney Answers 2

Posted

It is not really cheating if you are not lawfully married to this guy. Even if you were lawfully married and he was having sexual relations with another person, you couldn't really "sue" him for cheating -- all you could do is file a Complaint for Divorce against him based on adultery. However, without being lawfully married, there is no grounds for a divorce based on adultery because: (1) there is no marriage to be dissolved and (2) adultery is defined as having sexual relations with someone other than one's spouse (since there is no spouse, there is no adultery).

As the prior attorney stated, you can pursue him for child support for the two children that you are already have. You will not be able to file for child support for the third child until after the child is actually born.

You can pursue child support one of two ways: (1) file a petition for child support with the Juvenile & Domestic Relations District Court in the county in which you and the children reside OR (2) you can contact the Division of Child Support Enforcement and file an application for services with them. If you go through the court, then what you will get is a judicial order for child support which the Div. of Child Support Enforcement can then enforce for you through wage withholding. If you go through the Division instead, then what you will get is an administrative support order which will be enforced by DCSE (but is subject to appeal to the courts). DCSE is VERY busy (over-worked and under-funded/under-staffed). So, it may take several months longer to pursue the administrative support order process through DCSE and the J&DR Court will probably be faster for you.

If you want to pursue through DCSE, then you will need to find out where your particular district office of DCSE is and then schedule an appointment with them (some, like Fairfax County, have certain days of the week or the month when they take walk-ins, but the lines can be long, so go early). If you want to pursue through the court, then contact your local J&DR Court (which, unless you live within the City of Alexandria limits, is probably Fairfax County J&DR Court). The court will schedule an intake appointment for you at the court.

One final note in reference to your tag "Back Child Support": Child support can NOT be ordered retroactively, but only from the date on which a petition for support is pending. What this means is that the clock won't start ticking on child support until the day that your petition for child support is filed with the court. (Administrative support orders are subject to the same limitations as judicial support orders). So, if you want and/or need child support from the children's father, then you need to file as soon as possible. Every day that passes where you have not filed is a day for which you can never recover child support!

This response does not create an attorney-client relationship and is intended for general information purposes only.

Mark as helpful

4 lawyers agree

3 comments

Asker

Posted

I guess I wanted to just be able to take away his motorcycles because of how he was able to obtain them- hurt him the way he hurt me although it doesn't compare. He is such a loser and too bad I wasted 8 years. I will seek Child Support through the court system. I can't believe he paid $625 a month for a motorcycle but I had to beg and cry for $200 towards rent and that's all he gave, not a cent more. I guess I need to just pick up the pieces and move on from there. Thanks.

Jennifer E Mandell

Jennifer E Mandell

Posted

For what it is worth, by the time you go after him for child support for 2 children, plus costs of birth and child support for the third child, he very well may lose his motorcycles -- insofar as he may no longer be able to afford a $625 per month payment on it and/or may need to sell it to pay his child support!

Asker

Posted

That's what I want to hear. He has a mercedes benz also but lives at home with his sister now, before we were living together. Oh well, I hope he can't even afford a decent meal because my family has had to support me with groceries just so I can pay the rent for this apartment that he begged me to get, I wanted to move out also but he knew I could not do it without his help. Thank you.

Posted

You can definitely sue him for child support.

Mark as helpful

3 found this helpful

3 lawyers agree

3 comments

Asker

Posted

But can I get the motorcycles?

Asker

Posted

He also lost his job recently so not sure how child support work in that case.

Deborah Ann Johnson Wilson

Deborah Ann Johnson Wilson

Posted

I strongly suggest that you file for child support ASAP. Perhaps, you should contact the Division of Child Support Enforcement and start with an Administrative Support Order. Even if he is unemployed, he is legally obligated under Virginia law to pay a minimum support amount of $65.00. Once he regains employment, you have the right to petition for a modification. However, if you contact the DIvision of Child Support Enforcement they will do all of this for you. Sorry you are in this position. Best of luck~

Child custody topics

Top tips from attorneys

What others are asking

Can't find what you're looking for?

Post a free question on our public forum.

Ask a Question

- or -

Search for lawyers by reviews and ratings.

Find a Lawyer

Browse all legal topics