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I have a divorce pending and my spouse refuses to communicate with me for any reason, including visitation.

Abilene, TX |

Nor will she allow my children to talk to me on the phone. When I can get a visit with my children (it took an hour and two county sheriff being called by her before she finally let my two daughters come visit me last time, even though it was court ordered. Even then she and her parents made my kids feel bad for wanting to come and visit me, so much so my ten year old son didn't come) she won't even talk to me while I have them or about them or what we are doing. I am over the relationship and only want to be able to communicate with her as parents and adults. What, if anything, can I do to make her let me see and talk to my kids and be able to be a part of their life. Should I seek custody and is this behavior grounds for seeking custody?

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Attorney answers 3


Your orders can contain a provision regarding weekly or regular telephone calls with your kids. I am sorry that you are having problems seeing your kids. Make sure you document these efforts, and her difficulties in a journal at the time. A family member or friend (not a girlfriend) is good have tag along as a witness. If it does not improve quickly, consider asking the court for modified orders and/or enforcement. As to discussions - just stop trying to talk with her. She has made it clear she doesn't want to talk to you. If there is an issue regarding the kids let her know by text and/or email. It creates a digital paper trail, and avoids an argument. At some point she may be willing to co-parent, but clearly is not interested now. These issues get complicated and it is not likely that you can resolve them without an attorney. Moreover, if you have not yet attended mediation with her, it might be an option to resolve these problems. Good luck.

The above answer does not create an attorney/client relationship. These responses are merely intended to provide general information about the question asked. Frequently, the question does not include important facts that, if known, could significantly change the answer. Information provided on this site should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney in your community. The law changes frequently and varies from state to state. You should verify and confirm any information provided with an attorney licensed in your state


I agree with Attorney Langford. If you have a court order, these orders generally have provisions about contact and sometimes order how the parents interact. What you want is a paper trail-- text messages, e-mails, and police reports. Eventually, if she keeps this up, you may have to bring a motion for enforcement of those court orders. When you do that, you've got a better case than simple "he-said, she-said."


Your spouse is interfering with your relationship. If you do not have temporary orders spelling out your visitation and electronic communication and establishing set times to speak with your children by phone, you need to do so now! Otherwise, she may be in contempt of your court orders. And yes, all of this can assist you in seeking custody.

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