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I got married, same sex marriage, in Iowa in 2009. Her and I are no longer together, how do I get a divorce!? See added details.

Saint Louis, MO |

We live in Missouri, always have. Apparently the Iowa law says something about having to live there for a year before we can get divorced, we can't do that! We don't even speak anymore, I don't even know how to contact her. I'm now in another committed relationship, I'm also older and wiser, and her and I would really love to get LEGALLY married. This time it would be a lot closer since Illinois passed a same sex marriage law. Can anyone help?

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Attorney answers 3


You should contact an Iowas divorce attorney. The Illinois same sex marriage law has not passed yet. It still must pass our house and be signed by our governor. It only passed the Illinois senate so far,

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I thought it passed, my friend went to belleville to get "married".

Peggy M. Raddatz

Peggy M. Raddatz


oh dear! we do have civil unions but they fall way short of marriage

Peggy M. Raddatz

Peggy M. Raddatz


If you live in Illinois for 90 day consecutively you can get a divorce here under out Civil Union law.


You state "we live" in Missouri. You also state you don't know where your spouse is so there are confusing statements in your question. The answer to where your spouse is will determine some of your rights so finding your spouse is very important. While Missouri does not recognize same sex marriages at this time... there can be arguments made for either an annulment or a divorce but your case may make new law in Missouri about how to divorce a person when the underlying marriage is not recognized as lawful. Current cases challenging DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) are unlikely to answer the question your divorce case presents.

I encourage you to consult with an attorney who practices in both family law and appellate law since your case may require an appeal to the higher courts in Missouri.

Benicia Livorsi
The Family Law Group, LLC

I am a licensed attorney practicing in the St. Louis/ St. Charles, Missouri areas. Our firm's answers to questions posted on this site are for general informational purposes. There is NO attorney client relationship between the person posting the questions and our law firm - The Family Law Group, LLC. Required disclaimer: The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements. This website, or other legal information presented at this site should not be construed to be formal legal advice, nor the formation of a lawyer or attorney client relationship. Please contact a Missouri Attorney for a consultation on your particular divorce matter. Our answers are not intended to solicit clients for matters outside of the state of Missouri, unless litigation is occuring in Missouri.


Move to Illinois, so you can get a divorce. I don't thing Missouri recognizes same sex marriages so it can't give you a divorce.

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