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I feel I have not been adviced or supported during this divorce process-by my lawyers. Am I asking/not asking the right question

King George, VA |
Filed under: Divorce

How can I better get support / guidance/advice from my lawyer. I feel I may have made some mistakes - with choices. Because I did not ask what the consequences or other possiblities could have been.i don't know what they would have been. I've never done this before. Is it to last. I am scared and need help.

Attorney Answers 3


  1. Best answer

    Divorce is a difficult and emotional process. It is typical for a client to be scared AND confused. Much of the problem is not legal in nature and cannot be handled exclusively by lawyers. It is for that reason that all parties in divorce and/or custody cases should have some contact (the amount needed is determined on a case by case basis) with a counselor or therapist. this will help the parties deal with the often unreasonable expectations and fears.
    Also, lawyers know how things SHOULD be done. Often, that it not the way that clients WANT them to be done. It is easy to be your own worst enemy in a contested case. Decisions are clouded by anger, pain, fear and the urgings of third parties who antagonize the situation. Lawyers will explain the options, but often parties fail to hear the explanations and later claim that they never were told certain things. The solution to this is to communicate via email regarding important issues so that you can have a question and then a response that can be reviewed as many times as necessary for the information to register. Phone calls are the worst means of communication unless you take notes during the conversation.
    If you truly feel that you cannot communicate with your lawyer, you can try talking with someone with whom you feel more comfortable. You do have to recognize, however, that the more time that you spend with the lawyer the more money the process will cost you. You need to use the lawyer's time and your money wisely. Lawyers are mindful of this and generally attempt to keep the costs down as much as possible. If you have a concern, though, by all means, the lawyer wants to hear from you.

    This response does not create an attorney-client relationship and is intended for general information purposes only. For specific information regarding your case, call my office at 757-533-5400 to schedule a consultation.


  2. Attorney Commander gave you an outstanding answer and she is one of the top attorneys in the area. The short answer is that your attorney must explain to you the process and you are suppose to work as a team, if you cannot do that, just like switching doctors or dentists, find a good local attorney and if you can hire attorney Commander, you will be in great shape. take care.

    Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of Massachusetts. Responses are based solely on Massachusetts law unless stated otherwise.


  3. As previously stated, divorce is a tough process and there can occasionally be struggles in communication between attorneys and clients. Our job is to assist and guide so it is of the utmost importance for clients to share their feelings and expectations with their attorney. Openness is the best policy in attorney-client relations. If you're being completely open with your attorney and are still not receiving adequate support, then perhaps you should meet with other attorneys to see if there is a better fit - we're people too and sometimes a different attorney can be a better match in terms of personality or demeanor.

    I would also recommend any counseling or other help that you can receive to make it through and receive the necessary support during a difficult and emotional process.

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