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I dated a girl for several months who did not disclose she had herpes. She passed them to me. Can I sue for ruining my life.

Wakefield, MA |

I have been disease free my whole life and this women never told me she had herpes. Now I suffer from painful breakouts and an incurable disease. I also have emotional distress that someone took my life away from me. Can I sue them. I did not even have intercorse - she performed oral sex on me. A few days later she told me she was a carrier and I broke up with her. I got sick two weeks later

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Attorney answers 3


I am terribly sorry that this happened to you.

You could sue her but unless she has substantial assets you might not be able to find a lawyer to do so on a contingent fee basis and might have to pay for the representation. Then, even if you win the suit, you would have to wait until she had some assets to collect from.

It also might be a difficult case to prove. Unless you had tested negative for herpes before you started dating this woman or the strain of herpes that you now have is the same strain she has, you may not be able to prove that she gave you herpes. If I understand the medicine correctly, it's possible for one to have had herpes without knowing it and for a dormant herpes to start producing symptoms years later.

If you do sue for intentional infliction of emotional distress, remember that the case is public record and, since you will have to prove that you got it from her, your entire sexual history will be explored. You could also talk to the police department for the town where the sex act occurred to see if they would prosecute her for assault and battery. Again, such a criminal proceeding would be public. If the state won the case against her, or if she pled guilty, she could be ordered to pay you restitution.

I just noticed that you listed the practice area as divorce. I will change it to personal injury when I am finished answering. You may want to use the Find a Lawyer button to look for a personal injury lawyer in or near Wakefield to discuss your case in private.

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I am sorry for your terrible situation. The idea that there is someone that could do this intentionally is actionable. Causation will be difficult to prove unless both of you were tested in the time leading up to the sexual contact. I agree with my colleague that unless she has significant assets, it will be very difficult to find a lawyer to take the case.



Hello Yes, she has significant assets, including a house in an expensive area of a nearby town, a VP level job, and other investments. The house is in an LLC and worth a good amount. I have tested just after the sexual contact, I ran my blood, and ran all tests including Herpes, and HIV, It came back negative. I also later swabbed and that came back negative. I meet with an infectious disease specialist last week or so he told me that everything seemed fine. I am still feeling burning, pain and the nerve moving around in my legs and back. I have limited, involvement in other relationships so my sexual history should be fine. She has had this condition for twenty years, and told me that she takes suppressive medication for it. The medical records will show this. I asked her why I was not given the right to choose my fate with my body and life and she told me she was trying to get to know me. I told her that was unacceptable. I really feel this is gross negligence, and that I will never be the same now. I feel that this is a gross violation of my rights as a person, almost like a rape. She told me that if she could take it all back she would, and I have had no contact with her since a few months ago, I have found an attorney who will take my case.

David Brian Snyder

David Brian Snyder


We're glad you found an attorney to take your case. Best luck.


Perhaps her homeowners ins will cover. This could even be a criminal case, but you should discuss strategy with the atty you hired.



Yes I am not sure what homeowners covers and the house is in an llc. I will also consider a criminal case but I have to use my name. Maybe in conjunction with the civil case I wish this all did not happen and could have been easily prevented Thanks for the info.

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