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I am getting married and my son's father have share custody with is against it and wants to file for full custody. what can i do

Corona, NY |

my son's father doesnt wants my son to live with me anymore because im getting married and he doesnt thik i should have any other man but him around our son's life, im the one with physical custody and we both have share custody he spends all weekends with our chilkd and holidays and i even let him take him on summer for 2 weeks, i dont know what can i do im scared that he will take my son away form me.

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Attorney answers 5


Unless your new husband is physically dangerous to your son, your ex doesn't have a leg to stand on. However, if he files anything in court, you need to be prepared to hire a lawyer. The burden is on him to prove that your new husband is dangerous. He cannot merely go in and demand custody because you are getting married.


Your is a very common fact pattern among divorced couples with a child and orders of custody and visitation. Depending upon how suave and devious his attorney is, he'll pull every trick in the book to make your life miserable.

He may seek out an ex parte OP against you not to beat the child. That will crimp your job search efforts as well as place you at risk of incarceration. He'll bring in cops. He'll steam up the kid to smack you and curse at you. He'll exploit every minor error: the kid's diet is no good with you; your neighbors are seedy. He'll write offensive emails to make you appear as the problem.

You have to have experienced counsel guide you through all this so he cannot get away with anything.

Good luck.


Consult with an experienced family law attorney to help you. Hopefully you are receiving child support. If the child is living with you and your finance is nice, then all is fine. The father has visitation rights. Bring the custody agreement to your lawyer to review.

If this answer is helpful, then please mark the helpful button. If this is the best answer, then please indicate it. Thanks. For further information you should see an attorney and discuss the matter completely. If you are in the New York City area, then you can reach me during normal business hours at 718 329 9500 or


The thought of possibly losing custody of your child is always frightening. The father's reason for filing for custody is not a good one. As mentioned before, if you soon to be husband is a danger to the child, that is one thing. But otherwise, it should not be a problem. IF you are getting married, then I am sure that this man has already established a relationship with your son. If it has been good so far, why should it change just because you marry him.

Of course, if the father does serve you with a petition for custody, you should be represented by an attorney who is experienced with these matters.


The best way not to be "scared" is to get information and have a plan. As terrible as it is to have such a threat hanging over your head, absent some extreme circumstances, the court is not likely to disturb the current custody arrangement simply because you are getting married. The courts expect people to move on with their lives and to form new relationships, etc. The courts also expect children will adjust to these changes and that it is up to the parents, not the courts, to help children do so. That doesn't mean that for a little while at least your son's father cannot make drive you crazy with court filings and time-wasting, frivolous objections and accusations, but it does mean that eventually, the parent who is being unreasonable will be exposed and the threat(s) neutralized. I suggest you have a confidential consultation with an attorney to fully review your situation--I'm quite sure you'll feel MUCH better once you do this. Good luck!

Ms. Brown may be reached at 718-878-6886 during regular business hours, or anytime by email at: All of Ms. Brown's responses to questions posted on AVVO are intended as general information based upon the facts stated in the question, and are provided for educational purposes of the public, not any specific individual, and her response to the question above is not legal advice and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Ms. Brown is licensed to practice law in New York. If you would like to obtain specific legal advice about this issue, you must contact an attorney who is licensed to practice law in your state.



He is trying to make me seen as an unfit parent And he keeps asking my child is he is comfortable with my fiancé or he he hurts him or touches him. I'm very nervous about this all. I will be contacting your office tomorrow.

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