Was your son DUI while you were in the car? Were you aware of this? Regardless you need to seek immediate representation from a qualified local attorney.
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Most hit-and-run identifications are made because the driver admits they were driving. (i.e., they confess) The police must prove the identity of the driver beyond a reasonable doubt. The driver has the absolute right to remain silent and to invoke the right to counsel. Any driver in an alleged hit-and-run should remain absolutely silent and retain the services of a qualified criminal defense lawyer immediately.
As stated by the above attorneys, contact a Criminal Defense lawyer right away. You may be able to get a free consultation if requested. Good luck.
The above is general legal and business analysis. It is not intended nor construed to be "legal advice" but rather it is analysis, and different lawyers may analyze this matter differently, especially if there are additional facts not reflected in the question. I am not your attorney until retained by a written retainer agreement signed by both of us. I have been licensed to practice law in California since 1978. See also avvo.com terms and conditions item 9, incorporated as if it was reprinted here.
Follow the advice of the other responders and consult with a criminal defense attorney immediately. Given the nature of your incident, STOP posting any more information on this site, which is open to public view.
I wish you would've posted this before talking to the police. You need to consult with a criminal defense attorney in person. Don't post any more specifics on this site. I offer free 1 hour consult as do others on Avvo.
Before you speak with them again you should hire an attorney to represent you. Allow your attorney to be your spokesperson with the sheriff's department. You do not want to be making any more statements to them.
You said "they will not release the car to me"
Given what is at stake, the car is just a hunk of metal.
Hire a criminal defense attorney without further delay.
Curt Harrington Patent & Tax Law Attorney Certified Tax Specialist by the California Board of Legal Specialization PATENTAX.COM This communication is general information and not legal advice, and does not create an attorney-client relationship. This communication should not be relied upon as any type of legal advice. Please note that no attorney-client relationship exists between the sender and the recipient of this message in the absence of either (1) a signed fee contract and (2) remission of an agreed-upon retainer. Absent such an agreement and retainer, I am not engaged by you as an attorney, nor is any other member of my law firm.
If you were not driving, you cannot be convicted of hit-and-run. Stop listening to the police and certainly stop talking to them. Respond to all questions by saying that you refuse to answer without your attorney present. Get an attorney NOW!