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How does my wife moving out, claiming she's leaving an abusive relationship, affect my rights to custody or visitation?

Greensboro, NC |

My wife suddenly asked for a divorce. I then found phone records and other evidence of an affair. I called her out on it and the next day she's moving out claiming she's leaving an abusive relationship. I believe she was told to do this by her attorney. She has since admitted to "being in touch" with the ex boyfriend after lying repeatedly about whose phone number it was and denying being in contact with him. Now she claims she has "always been in contact". This man was recently released from prison after serving like 10 years or more for bank robbery. That's also a great concern to me regarding custody.

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Attorney answers 2


Is the alleged abuse against her or the child(ren)? The court will decide what is in the best interest of the child. They will consider whether the children were abused and/or whether alleged abuse of spouse was in the presence of the children. These will all play a part in what type of custody/ visitation schedule will be set up. There are other factors as well. For example, each parties parental involvement in care, education, discipline, etc.

This information is for general purposes only. No Attorney-Client privilege has been created nor does it exist between me or my firm and the person asking the question or any parties reading this question and answer. Facts and circumstances vary from case to case. Seek legal advice for your particular facts and circumstances.



I have been a stay-at-home father for the better part of our child's life. She turned 4 in October of this year and I have been home with her since December 2010. Thus far I don't know that we could even use the term "alleged" as I've not been formally charged or accused with abusing either of them. How much weight does a mere allegation hold? Doesn't she need to prove something??? This is killing me!

Tiffanie Charise Meyers

Tiffanie Charise Meyers


A mere allegation is just that. If she is not allowing you to see your daughter, you should seek counsel in your area immediately.



First of all, I forgot to thank you for your response, Ms. Meyers. Pardon my manners. I have a consultation scheduled for tomorrow, but I'm trying to arm myself with as much information as possible seeing as how I don't have the money to spend on a lot of attorney fees. She is "allowing" me to see my daughter, she's just making it difficult, interfering with visits and now won't put me on the list of people who can pick her up at daycare. I'm sorry to go on as I'm doing but I'm terrified and confused.


When all is said and done, the buck stops with the judge hearing your custody matter (who will determine what type of custody and/or visitation arragement is in the best interests of the child or children). The effect allegations of this type will have on any of your custody or visitation rights with the child will depend upon the evidence placed before the court. You, just as your wife, will have the opportunity to present evidence, refute evidence, and argue evidence and the law. I'd advise you consult with an attorney about your specific facts for assistance understanding your rights and obligations and the child custody process. Additionally, if your wife has retained counsel for the matter, I would definitely advise you to have your own as well to ensure your parental interests are protected as fully as possible. Best wishes.

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