how do i stop a shop ring me and contacting my family asking them to pay what i owe when they have been told that i am in

You need to demand all contact be written form and give the creditor a mailing address, from your question it is not clear if this is a collection agency or the first party creditor. However, based on your statements I would guess the creditor has no idea about compliance with the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. Because they would be limited to 3 contacts a week.

Good Luck.