What you owe or do no owe is determined by your written fee agreement which I have not read. You do have a right to change lawyers and possibly should. Good lawyers respond to emails and calls in a reasonable time. I usually aim for the same day, but a couple days can be reasonable. Beyond that is inappropriate and the lawyer is being unprofessional. Client communication is essential. Again, most of your rights are in your fee agreement.
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Part of the problem may be it is your husband's case and the atty has no privilege with you. He may not realize this is not obvious to you.
It could also be that the other side's strategy has changed his intended approach. It happens.
Have your husband call and make an appointment. Ask for contemporaneous copies of ever everything that is produced or rec'd in the case.
If you ask for a "lesson plan" as you describe, you will just insult him. You will do the attorney-client relationship no good treating your attorney like a remedial ed student.
Human conversation, polite conversation is the cure for this malady.
While you hired the lawyer, he still has attorney/client privilege with your husband. Therefore he can only share so much with you. If you and your husband are unhappy with the representation, review your fee agreement and determine what your rights are under it. Then you can choose to terminate the relationship and move on to a new lawyer.
If he is showing you that he is not going to be responsive, and he is not responsive to your husband, that is unlikely to change. Some lawyers, unfortunately, are very bad at being communicative.
I am licensed in Pennsylvania. Members of my firm are licensed in various states, including Pennsylvania, New Jersey and New York. We handle cases involving personal injury (car accidents slip and falls, etc.,) medical malpractice, nursing home abuse, workers' compensation, social security disability and legal malpractice. Nothing I write on Avvo is legal advice, but instead contains general educational information. Please do not act or refrain from acting based upon what you read in anything I write on Avvo without retaining your own lawyer in your state. Also please remember that this post does not form an attorney/client relationship between you and me. If you have specific legal questions, you should contact an attorney in your state for assistance.