How do I get the judge to grant a Marsden and also have the courts authorize me to hire a Civil attorney for loss of wages, job,

First off, you don't need authorization from the courts to hire a civil attorney, but if you're asking whether the courts will pay for one, they won't, ever. You have the right to have an attorney appointed in certain criminal and dependency cases, but not civil cases. However, many civil attorneys will take cases on contingency, if they're good ones, meaning that he takes his pay out of the amount you win, if you do, and he gets nothing if you lose. Also, for some (but not all) types of lawsuits against employers, the employer has to pay your attorney's fees if you win. (See Labor Code section 218.5, for example.)

On your Marsden, there really isn't a lot you can do to prepare. Just plan on going in and answering the judge's questions honestly and straightforwardly. The judge is less interested in why you don't get along with your lawyer on a personal level than in what it is you think the lawyer should have done that he didn't, but if there are compelling personal issues -- he sexually harassed you, for example -- then that's good to tell the judge about too. The most important thing I'd stress is that when the judge asks you a question, he's expecting an answer to THAT QUESTION, so don't use every question as an opportunity to tell the judge about ALL of your complaints about the lawyer. Just listen to the question, answer it, and stop. At some point, the judge will probably say something like "Is there anything else you want to tell me?," and at that point, if there's an area you haven't covered, you can bring it up. But the biggest mistake you can make is to assume that you have to be talking about every single problem you have with this lawyer every time you open your mouth.

I can't help you on the visitation question, sorry; I don't even get close to doing family law.