tMy son's Father has not been there since his son was born other than a few times I tried to set up visits with them three times visiting arrangements "NO" each time went to court 1/08 Father got supervised visits 2x a week 2hrs a visit he did that for 2 months went to court evaluator told her was using drug addiction against him. Said child was better off in fostercare, Eval. sent a referal for UA's or hair folical testing never did went back to court 3/08 visits reduced to 1x a wk 2hrs rotating supervisors . Enough said he never did that nor did he ever do the UA's now he hasn't seen him since 1x in 4/08 & 1x in 5/08. Getting married. Dont want adoption but dont want him to take child if something was to happen to me how do I make sure I have sole custody he no rights but Financial
Family Law Attorney
You can ask the court to modify the parenting plan to eliminate his visits, putting the burden on him to go to the court if he wanted to resume visits at some point in the future. He would still have to pay child support, but he would have no right to demand the child.
You would need to make sure the child's daycare, school, etc., had a copy of the court order so he couldn't just show up at those places too.
Regarding what happens if you aren't in the picture, you need to sit down with an estate planning attorney to draft the documents necessary for a probate court to know what your wishes are. You also need to consult with family. Most likely, family would have to file a non-parental custody petition if you were to die. Given the father's crummy history, it's unlikely any court would place the child with him.