My ex and I have 50/50 placement of my son, but for the last two+ years he has been working on the road, moving across the states. He rarely calls and only visits once or twice a year. He refuses to give me an address (because then I can't serve him papers) and refuses to sign over placement. He has threatened to kidnap our son twice now and says that he has a right to do so because he is entitled. As far as support goes, he gives me what he says is 17% and usually runs 4-6 weeks behind. I have been overly-tolerant of his behavior and I am wearing thin. Is there anything I can do to get placement without my ex being in court? I can't have him served because I don't know where he's living and even if I did he still won't show up for court; what can I do? Do I have any rights?
The rules for service must be followed even when you don't know where a respondent may be located. In your particular case, this may involve attempting service at his last known address, followed by service by publication. There are very particular rules that must be followed. From the sounds of it, you may have grounds to petition for a modification of the placement order as well as for contempt for non-payment/under-payment of support.
You should contact a family law attorney practicing in your area.