I feel like my lawyer did not listen to my needs I wanted a separation & the papers my husband received say dissolution. We really just want to stop the whole thing, but my lawyer thinks it is a bad decision. How can I stop him from being in control of this situation, with out completely making him no longer want to deal with me, if I need him down the line.
No one can analyse how your attorney will "feel" in the future. You have a right to dismiss your dissolution. Your attorney has an obligation to give you good advice, but you have the right to disagree and then the attorney has the obligation to follow your instructions.
The above is general legal and business analysis. It is not "legal advise" but analysis, and different lawyers may analyse this matter differently, especially if there are additional facts not reflected in the question. I am not your attorney until retained by a written retainer agreement signed by both of us. I am only licensed in California. See also avvo.com terms and conditions item 9, incorporated as if it was reprinted here.
Family Law Attorney
If your lawyer doesn't listen to your needs or communications, you should substitute your lawyer out. You can always retain another attorney who listens to your needs and communications in the future, if you need to. If your husband hasn't responded to the Petition, you can unilaterally dismiss the divorce case (do it without prejudice). If your husband has responded to the Petition, both sides must sign the Request for Dismissal. If you and your husband agree that the case should be dismissed, direct your attorney to prepare and file the Request for Dismissal (obtaining your husband's and/or his attorney's signature if required). If your attorney refuses to follow your direction, ask your attorney to substitute out and substitute you in to represent yourself, and then you can prepare, sign, circulate (if necessary), and file the Request for Dismissal.
Please note that this answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied on, as each situation is fact specific, and it is not possible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and court pleadings filed in the case. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship.