How can we put my father into a nursing home when he refuses to go?

Asked almost 5 years ago - Memphis, TN

He is totally incontinent, refuses to wear depends, refuses to go to a nursing home. He is 94 years old and lives in Memphis, Tennessee. My mother is nearly blind, 87 years old , must use a walker to get around and is no longer able to take care of him. The house smells terribly and is very unsanitary as no one is cleaning up after him.

Attorney answers (1)

  1. Joel Steven Weissler


    Contributor Level 11

    Answered . In order to move your father you would need to be given the legal authority to move him. Each state's standards and procedures for what is sometimes called 'conservatorships' or 'guardianships' differs. The general rule is that most states have procedures to have someone appointed to protect an individual who has been shown to be unable to manage their own affairs and/or are a risk to themselves or others.

    The first solution to consider is bringing in someone to take care of and help both of your parents. If your father or mother served in the military during wartime they may be eligible for VA Aid & Attendance benefits which could help pay for help to take care of both of them in their home. Of course VA benefits also have a financial qualification component, but it is not too difficult to rearrange an individual's affairs so that they qualify.

    If they financially qualify (and owning a home will not disqualify them) their may also be state Medicare/Medicaid benefits available to assist in the home, not just if they are in a nursing home.

    It is never an easy thing dealing with an aged parent.

    Best wishes,

    Joel S. Weissler*
    Attorney at law

    *Licensed to Practice Law in the State of California

    NOTE: This answer is made available by the lawyer for educational purposes only. By using or participating in this site you understand that there is no attorney client privilege between you and the attorney responding. This site should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney that practices in the subject practice discipline and with whom you have an atttorney client relationship along with all the privileges that relationship provides. The law changes frequently and varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. The information and materials provided are general in nature, and may not apply to a specific factual or legal circumstance described in the question.

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