You should have had a finalized divorce years ago.
There are likely some significant issues (parental rights, ex parte divorce,etc.) you raise that make a simple online answer inappropriate. If you don't already have a lawyer, the Virginia State Bar has a referral service you can access at http://www.vsb.org/vlrs/ .
I recommend you contact a family law attorney in your area, and spend some time detailing the facts. Your attorney can explain what is possible and what steps you need to take.
First, you cannot "sign over parental rights", so I assume you mean that she would have custody. You would still have parental rights. I also assume that you do not have a lawyer and have been waiting for her to finalize the divorce. You cannot complain that it has been taking a long time when you have not been doing anything to get it concluded. Virginia has a ONE year waiting period. After that, either party can file for divorce. I suggest that you just go ahead and file for divorce, have her served and then she will have to respond.
This response does not create an attorney-client relationship and is intended for general information purposes only.
A weekly guide with tips and legal advice for each stage of the process.