You really need a lawyer if any allegations of domestic violence are made. Even if the judge doesn't grant the permanent order you ought to hire a lawyer. In response to your question, it depends on what your order says.
1. DVTRO - Look at the Order that you were personally served with and see what it says regarding Visitation with the minor child. If it says, "NO visitation pending the hearing", then you will NOT see your son until the permanent Restraining Order hearing.
2. You need to hire counsel.
3. Continue your Domestic Violence Restraining Order hearing until the Statue of Limitations runs on the criminal charges. You need to exert your 5th Amendment privilege against self-incrimination since criminal charges have been filed or alleged. You have a right to participate in the DV proceedings and defend yourself against the allegations that are made. Some attorneys fail to remember to NOT put their client on the stand or to NOT file any declarations on behalf of their client. Simply reissue the TRO and file your Responsive Declaration stating that you are exerting your 5th amendment privilege & would like visitation orders pending the hearing, granting you visitation & joint custody of your child.
This is a general answer and does not constitute legal advice. By answering this question, I am not creating an attorney/client relationship, and no such relationship will be created unless a representation agreement is signed by both you and me.
You need to hire an experienced attorney who can look over the TRO Request and also look over any Criminal Complaint. Even when there are allegations of Domestic Violence the Family Court will usually allow supervised visitation (this can be expensive if done by a professional supervisor). If the TRO does not allow for any visitation you may need to file a Request for Order seeking visitation. A good attorney will need to see the documents before tendering any specific advice.
As stated above -- I have NOT actually stated any legal opinion, because I need to know more before I can start to form one.
Hire the best, locally experienced, criminal defense attorney you can afford. That's a good start!
Law Offices of David Shapiro 3555 4th Avenue San Diego, CA 92103 (619) 295-3555