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How can I help my friend who is a domestic violence victim?

Gainesville, FL |

My friend is a victim of domestic violence. A couple of months ago the person that has been abusing her jumped on her and was trying to hurt her. My friend tried to defend herself. When the cops arrived my friend would not talk to them because she was afraid and the person that was trying to hurt her showed the police scratches on his face that my friend put there when she was trying to push him off and said that she was attacking him. My friend was arrested on domestic battery. The police contacted child protective services and a order of protection was issued for her to stay away from him. He used this against her. She wanted to stay away but he made sure she received the message that if she didn't talk he would make sure she goes to jail.

Is she did what he asked, he wouldn't cooperate, the charges would be dropped and she will not lose her children. Since this event he has really began to beat her bad. It's like it gave him more power over her than he already had. Last night he beat her really bad and has been threatening her. She is afraid to go home for fear of him. She has been sleeping in her car, but she is terrified of the police. It's so sad. She views them as the enemy that will only help him victimize her by arresting her. I'm afraid he is really going to hurt her but there is nothing I can do. She will disappear if I call the cops. How can I help her. She is so afraid of the police that when he now beats her she doesn't even attempt to defend herself again.

Attorney Answers 4

Posted

There are ways that she can come up with a safety plan, document the case against him, and get help. But she has to be ready to do it, have support, and plan. Contact the following people at the link below for educational and practical assistance on how to help victims of domestic violence.
http://www.fcadv.org/

***Please be sure to mark if you find the answer "helpful" or a "best" answer. Thank you! I hope this helps. ******

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3 comments

Heather Morcroft

Heather Morcroft

Posted

Also be aware that there are few things more frustrating than trying to help a victim of DV who is not ready to accept the help. DV does things to you emotionally and physically that make it hard to even see that there is a road out, and a lot of counseling is often needed before people are willing to leave. People not in the situation find it difficult to accept that someone will stay in such a situation. Sometimes, but seldom, is it as simple as just providing a practical solution to a victim.

Heather Morcroft

Heather Morcroft

Posted

I saw you came back and marked this as helpful two years later. I always wonder about these responses that come so long after the original answer. I really hope this means that you were able to assist your friend in getting help and that she was able to get out of the abusive situation and start moving forward in a better, happier and safer life.

Heather Morcroft

Heather Morcroft

Posted

We see so many sad and tragic things, sometimes it is good to know when things turn out well. It helps to know that maybe what we do actually means something for people, because honestly there are some days where it really seems that people are pretty much scum. So it is good to hear happy stories:)

Posted

She should contact and retain a local criminal attorney experienced in domestic violence cases and, further, stay FAR away from the abuser.

Under the rules governing the conduct of attorneys in New York it may be necessary to remind you that this answer could be considered attorney advertising.

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Posted

DVI's can be complicated and stressful.
But you are best off by having your friend do her best to get one in place.
Heather (as usual) has given great advice.
I wish you both the best and I hope life gets better real soon.

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Posted

Get a lawyer.


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