How can I get my ex to let me talk to my daughter when I'm deployed?

Asked over 1 year ago - Austin, TX

I deploy for 2 1/2 months to the Middle East as a contractor. My divorce is almost final, and my soon to be official ex and I arranged, a while back, for me to call once a week so I can talk to my daughter when I was gone. Because she is unreasonable and has been using our daughter against me to get certain things her way, she will now not let me talk to her. We agreed to joint custody but she's not letting me talk to her out of her own personal anger and hatred towards me. She feels that I don't deserve my daughter and is hell bent on tarnishing our relationship for her own gain. I see her when I'm home but 2 1/2 months is a long time not talking to her. She is almost 6 and don't want her to think I don't care. What can I do about this?

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Rita Hecker Anderson

    Contributor Level 8


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . This is a difficult question to answer without knowing what the status of the divorce filing . I strongly urge you to retain an attorney to represent your interests ESPECIALLY if you will/are out of the country.

    Was there a Temporary Order entered with the Court? If yes, was the telephone contact written in the Temporary Order? If yes, file a Motion to Enforce that portion of the Temporary Order if you are not getting telephone acess [tell your spouse you will file a Motion to Enforce if you are deployed and she does not allow the telephone contact]. If there is no Temporary Order, you should get one in place so all parties know what their rights and duties are while the divorce is pending, and also so that you have something to "enforce."

    Also, active military that are deployed can ask the Court to award their periods of visitation and access to another person that they designate. Usually it is a relative, grandparent, new spouse, other relative but it does not have to be a relative. The designee will take the child during the periods of possession. You are likely getting "standard visitation." So, you may want to consider requesting to have a designee during the times you are deployed...that way you will have open and complete telephone access to your child. The Courts will now also grant Skype, email or other forms of electronic communication if properly requested in your pleading and in the Final Decree.

    I strongly urge you to contact an attorney in the county where your divorce is pending. Contact the local bar association in your county for family law attorney referrals.

    DISCLAIMER: This answer does not constitute legal advice and no attorney client relationsip has been, or will be,... more
  2. Bobby Dale Barina


    Contributor Level 14


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . Speak to your attorney about this. You can included electronic communication in your divorce decree as a supplement to visitation. Specific times when the child will be available so you can speak to her on the phone or video conference with her. If your ex violates this order you will have remedies.
    Good Luck

    Bobby Barina's answer to a legal question on Avvo does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Mr. Barina... more
  3. Martha Katulka Feigenbaum

    Contributor Level 6


    Lawyer agrees

    Answered . You can have your lawyer include language that you have weekly, bi-weekly or daily communication with your daughter in the Final Decree of Divorce or even in a Temporary Order. If your wife refuses to follow the court order on the communication, then you can go back to court and have her held in contempt. More importantly if a spouse cuts off communication between a parent and child, it may be ground to be named the primary managing conservator of the child and designate the child's residence.

    This information in my answer is not intended to be legal advice because I do not know the particulars of your case.

Related Topics


Divorce is the process of formally ending a marriage. Divorces may be jointly agreed upon, resolved by negotiation, or decided in court.

Child Custody in a Divorce

Child custody may be physical or legal. Physical custody covers who the child lives with, and legal custody is the right to make decisions.

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