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How can I get my ex husband to stop sending me abusive and harassing emails?

Boca Raton, FL |
Filed under: Divorce

My ex husband constantly sends me emails telling me what a terrible mother I am and how all my kids problems are created by me. He tells me what a disappointment I am to my kids and on and on. He also shares these sentiments openly with my kids. He has also been harassing me through the legal system for many years and after hiring 5 different lawyers, the legal harassment never ends. I hope there is recourse for the email harassment.

Attorney Answers 3


  1. Best answer

    People can be downright ridiculous sometimes and it sounds like your ex-husband is exhibiting child-like mean behavior that is likely a result of his own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. Nevertheless, I am sure it is exhausting and feels terrible to read nasty emails from someone you once loved and respected enough to have children with and marry.

    You might be able to get a temporary restraining order but unless he is threatening harm you wont likely be able to get anything permanent. You also probably want to consider the costs and hassle of legal action before pursuing the same, but you likely are already aware of those if you have battled this man for years. Unless you have endless resources - time, money, and energy, cause as I am sure you know you often need all three when pursuing legal action, legal action might not be the route to take.

    The easy solution might be changing your email address and not giving him the new email address. Alternatively, if you dont want to change your email address, you could also filter his mail into a junk folder and only look at it when you feel like you can deal with it with a clear head and not let it influence how you feel about yourself.

    One good side of this, it there is a record of what he is doing. He is actually making it for you by writing everything down. Make sure to very clearly and shortly telling him you do not appreciate what he is doing and you want it to stop. Do it in writing so he knows you want his behavior to stop. Dont engage in it or respond by defending yourself, simply tell him, in a written response, you dont want him to continue to write you emails like this, you dont want him to bad mouth you to your children (because you dont bad mouth him to your children) and that you will not continue to respond to his emails if they continue to be mean. Thereafter, stop responding if the emails continue to be mean.

    Also, print out the emails and keep them in a folder somewhere safe just in case you ever need them to use in court or anywhere else. If the language gets abusive or threatening get a restraining order immediately. In most cases you can initially do this yourself without getting an attorney just by going to the courthouse and asking for help at the self-help center. The first step is often a temporary order which you then have to renew.

    As far as your children go, maybe explain to them that daddy is mad at mommy right now and it has nothing to do with them and tell them they dont need to respond when he says bad things about you to them. If it is very upsetting to the children or to you, it might not be a bad idea to seek out a professional psychologist to speak with and work through it all.

    Good luck, and I hope your ex-husband stops this behavior promptly.

    This is not intended to be offered as legal advice to be relied on in any litigation and/or potential litigation, nor is it in any way intended to establish an attorney-client relationship.


  2. If you have an ongoing case you should inform your attorney about this.
    Additionally, review your divorce documents, there might be a provision regarding communication between parents, this might give you grounds for a claim of contempt .

    Good luck!

    The answers provided are of a general nature and are not intended to be final or complete answers of any individual's legal questions. Other facts not considered may change the analysis or outcome. Do not rely on information presented herein to address your individual legal concerns. Your receipt of information from this website does not create an attorney-client relationship and the legal privileges inherent therein. If you have a legal question, you should consult an attorney experienced in that area of the law. The hiring of an attorney is an important decision that should not be based solely upon advertisements. Before you hire an attorney, you should request information about the attorney's qualifications and experiences. We do not have an attorney-client relationship. Only those persons who have a signed written fee agreement and authority to represent with me is an actual client. This response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than my educated opinion or viewpoint. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. I recommend you consult a lawyer if you want professional assurance that this information, and your interpretation of it, is appropriate to your particular situation. Do not act on any information in this response without seeking legal advice from an attorney in your area. NOT LEGAL ADVICE. FOR EDUCATION AND INFORMATION ONLY. DO NOT RELY ON ANY ADVICE YOU RECEIVE FROM ME OR ANY OTHER ATTORNEY IN THIS FORUM. Legal advice comes after a complete review of the facts and relevant documents and an expressed (written) agreement of representation that forms attorney-client confidentiality. Neither of these two events can occur in this forum.


  3. This is unfortunate and at the same time, happens all too often. Keep a record of all correspondence. Does your final divorce decree state any provisions regarding contact? You may want to contact your attorney to discuss further if you had one on the original case, or any other attorney to review the documents if you did not.

    You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation since every case is different and not all information is relayed in an online question. The Law Office of Ophelia Bernal-Mora, P.A. is a divorce and family law firm located in Orlando, Florida. Communication through Avvo does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to our office until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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