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How can i drop charges and a temporary restraint order against my husband? Can his Parole Officer tell us that he cant live home

Port Jervis, NY |

My husband and I had an argument it escalated and he wound up grabbing me by the back of my neck and throwing me down the hallway. I called the cops and had him arrested He was charged with harassment which is a violation. He is also on parole. How do I drop the charges and cancel the temporary restraint order? His parole officer said we can't live in the same residence anymore or communicate to each other. We are legally married. We reside in upstate New York.

Attorney Answers 4


You can speak to the prosecutor about dropping the order of protection generated in criminal court but they do not have to honor your request. Parole can attempt to mandate numerous conditions that the parolee can attempt to fight in court.

I have been a criminal attorney in New York for almost 25 years. website: Phone #: 718-208-6094 email: This answer is only for informational purposes and is not meant as legal advice.

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You can't drop the charges or get the order of protection vacated. Once you called the police the matter was out of your hands. Now it is up to the DA's Office. They may chose to go forward without your cooperation. You can speak with your husband's attorney and let the ADA know how you feel but you have no control in the matter.

I am a former federal and State prosecutor and now handle criminal defense and personal injury/civil rights cases. Feel free to check out my web site and contact me at (212) 577-9797 or via email at I was named to the Super Lawyers list as one of the top attorneys in New York for 2012. No more than 5 percent of the lawyers in the state are selected by Super Lawyers. The above answer is for informational purposes only and not meant as legal advice.

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In addition to the other responders suggestions, you may want to speak ti your husband's attorney.

If this answer is helpful, then please mark the helpful button. If this is the best answer, then please indicate it. Thanks. For further information you should see an attorney and discuss the matter completely. If you are in the New York City area, then you can reach me during normal business hours at 718 329 9500 or

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You made a big mistake and may not know why.

Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act and renewed it over the last previous years. This federal law pays money to the states and trumps state law on the issue of domestic violence. New York had to modify its law to comport with the federal standard and New York mandates an arrest as well as a no-drop prosecution.

This means loved ones can rat out each other and force a mandated arrest and ongoing criminal prosecution. If the objective is to steal kids or property, repeated arrests can be triggered with ever increasing charges. Judges in family and divorce court love these kinds of case enhancers because they make disposing of a case neat and quick.

However, in your case, it appears your call was the result of the heat of the moment, but under federal law, you cannot simply pull the plug on the proceedings. Federal law assumes you are in great danger and a calculating male will force and coerce you to drop your prosecution. So abuse will cause greater abuse.

Further, if he was on probation, the domestic violence arrest will likely injure his probation status and may cause revocation of his probation or the triggering of provisions of that probation. You cannot stop that process. Non-citizens face deportation depending on the exact charge he is convicted of.

Ordinarily, the man accepts a conditional discharge with a violation, and is sentenced to a small fine and either a limited or full order of protection. This means you humiliated the man, cost him a mint for legal services and hold over his head the means of his rearrest. I would not doubt he would leave you never to return. Then the state gets a matching fund for child support and its family court gets to draw pay for all the custody and visitation litigation that awaits you and your family.

Tell your friends that the government is not your friend and that calling police in the course of a domestic dispute will come back to haunt you for the rest of your adult life. You'll hold the stick over his head until he wisens up and then he'll reverse everything and have the stick over your head. Both of you will hemorrhage your net worth and thoroughly poison your kids so they will grow up and know how to foist these evil and vicious tricks upon their loved ones. Your future family will be fragmented and you will be held in disgust through the generations.

Good luck.

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