HELP! Step parent adoption in Illinois, biological parents NOT married, paternity NOT established, 'sperm donor' won't consent!

Asked over 3 years ago - Sullivan, IL

The biological 'father' & I were never married, & he is not on the birth certificate nor did he register w/ the putative father registry. (nothing legally linking them) We both know they share genes, he and his family even came to see her at the hospital, but he has not been around for nearly a year now.
My daughter will be 4 & calls my husband (of over a yr) daddy. He is the only father she knows, & a great one. We would like to proceed with a step parent adoption, but the 'donor' won't agree. Is there a way to proceed without notifying him? I don't have the money to fight him in court, and he's told me he will do everything in his power to keep my husband from adopting her, even pay the 30K he would owe me in back child support! Please help, I'm not sure what to do!

Additional information

I would really like to petition the court and do this proceeding myself, but if I have to get a lawyer I will. I've never kept the donor from my daughter, nor will I, but my biggest fear is him taking her away from where I know she is safe. I worked 2 jobs so I could take care of her financially without help from him and the state of Illinois, and I don't want him to suddenly step in and yank her from everything she knows every other weekend.

*He was my only, we were together for 4 years, so there's no doubt he's the biological 'father.' Legally it's not been established, but that's part of the reason he never bothered to get the DNA test; we were both 100% positive.
I'm not sure what you mean by contact the moultrie county bar assoc for assistance. Is there someone specific there I need to speak with? Can I file for the adoption? Would I be required to list him so he could be notified? Where do I get the forms? She was born in Macon county but we live in Moultrie, where do we file?

Attorney answers (2)

  1. James Richard Rowe II

    Contributor Level 12

    1

    Best Answer
    chosen by asker

    Answered . Back support is not limited to the date you filed the petition; under certain circumstances you can obtain support retroactive to date of birth, plus birthing expenses, etc. You would have to prove a few things, such as that he had knowledge of the minor's birth, made no contribution or less than statutory guidelines, etc.

    Contact your states attorney's office, who may be able to represent you in the support issues. The rest of the issues will require you to file pro se, or retain an attorney.

  2. David Matthew Gotzh

    Pro

    Contributor Level 20

    Answered . He doesn't owe any back child support because in Illinois it's backdated only to the date of petition. He's not "legally" the father, not does he have standing to contest an adoption unless he intervenes. Perhaps he is the father, perhaps he's not. Who knows. What I do know is that your problem, until he gets involved, is pretty simple to solve.

    Contact the Moultrie County Bar Association for assistance.

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