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Hello , father has been giving our child Concerta without consulting with me the mother violating a court order.

Temecula, CA |

Court order that we both have joint legal physical custody. We met with the doctor a year ago and I expressed my opposition to this drug and we agreed on Daytrana a patch. Father now switched his medicine and didnt tell me. I only know because our 11 year son told me. Dad right now has our child during school week while we are in middle of a custody move away situation.But our joint legal physical hasnt changed. Father has a long history of taking unlitateral decsions on medical issues and I express my dislike but try to turn the other cheek. But I had it Concerta has dangerous side affects....I want to since this is a federal controlled drug can I take this to a level outside of family court maybe criminal and really hold his feet to the fire to know he has gone too far this time? Sigh..

I meant to write "I would like to "know" since this is a federal controlled drug can I take this to a level outside of family court maybe criminal and really hold his feet to the fire to know he has gone too far this time? Sigh.. Are they more levels of legal violations with the drug being given without legal right to....sure the doctor wrote the prescription but father knows the court order. At the same time in current custody case father wrote declarations where he asking for sole legal custody to make all medical and school decsions....he is acting like he already got this approved he hasnt!!

Attorney Answers 3

Posted

See Family Code Section 3083 and read the Child Custody Order to see if it specifies that consent of both parties is required for medical or medication decisions.

Please note that this answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied on, as each situation is fact specific, and it is not possible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and court pleadings filed in the case. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship.

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Posted

I have just read an appellate brief that would curl your hair, The child has ADD and Dad sounds God awful-- the kid fell 4 stories under his care--and there has been HUGE fight over medical issues. Why am I telling you this? Be cause you REALLY need to mediate this. yes I know I k now it seems impossible--but there are (thankfully) a few attorneys who SPECIALIZE in these difficult cases. Litigation tends to spiral out of control and both sides become MORE entrenched. PLEASE believe me when I tell you fighting is counterproductive.

Ms. Straus (aka Carroll) may be reached at 800-400-8978 during regular business hours, Pacific Time, or anytime by email at: ECSEsquire@AOL.com. All of Ms. Straus’ responses to questions posted on Avvo are intended as helpful information based upon the facts stated in the question, and are not to be relied upon as a final legal opinion. It may not be what you wished to hear, and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Ms. Straus is licensed to practice law in California. If you would like to obtain specific legal advice about this issue, you must contact an attorney who is licensed to practice law in your state, and retain him or her. Me Straus provides “unbundled” services if you need specific assistance with a specific issue.

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7 comments

Asker

Posted

Thank you I am doing all my research first before creating drama...fathers knows where I stand but I am not yelling, screaming sending emails I am laying low and calm trying to figure out how to handle this I dont know how and I agree creating a overblown fight is counter productive....my focus is on what is best for my child so for now his father is giving him the medicine until I can find a way to peacefully get him off of it preserving my rights too in having consent I may be asking for another doctors opinions I am seeking alternatives to show the judge that we try ...we havent tried alternatives yet...father just prefers to pill pop...I think a judge will me more willing to listen to me if I come to him educated on subject and armed with alternative options to show this is not about me just screaming I want what I want....

Edna Carroll Straus

Edna Carroll Straus

Posted

Excellent. Yes stay calm and very rational. I sort of know the lady in the appellate case and she is very nice but she came off as "obstructionist (and many judges ARE biased) and she is paying dearly for it. Be careful. I know it's hard.

Edna Carroll Straus

Edna Carroll Straus

Posted

This what she just wrote to me: "Carroll, You are truly one of a kind, and I hope for her sake, and her children's, that she heeds your advice. Litigation does spiral out of control, but this is something that I think a lot of parents don't realize until it is too late. In my case, I realized this a long time ago, but I haven't been able to do much about it, since the father refuses to come to the table (or at least anything other than a courtroom table)" But I told her about he GREAT guy in San Diego who has the gift of WORKING WITH these scenarios, Not “meeting in the middle—RESOLVING them. He just a has a gift, God bless him. So keep that in mind.

Asker

Posted

My ex loves litigation he has told counselors that he wont negotiate that he will take his chances with the judge in all matters. So I know from having been burned before to not fight anything with my ex head on....he has a great way to make everything and anything I do or say look irrational ...its amazing. I think I will ask for a second opinion and seek the alternatives and then if we still think the child should be on this dangerous drug we can address it then I would hope a judge would see that as rational...ps this judge is Mormon too they dont even drink coffee or tea or alcohol I hope he can relate to my fears of a substance harming a child. Thank you for your feedback. I realy appreciate it. This site is great keeping us parents from making a huge mistake can in the long run really benefit the kids. Please keep up the work you all do on this site. Many of us appreciate it I know I do:)

Edna Carroll Straus

Edna Carroll Straus

Posted

Thanks so much! You sound as though you really do see the (sad) truth--that it it bootless to " not fight anything with my ex head on". Also your Mormon analysis may be accurate, Let's hope so. I salute the way you are looking at the "big picture"--Bravo. Call me if you want to discuss coaching support... it is what I was born to do I, think. ;-)

Asker

Posted

Hello Edna thank you for your help everyone on here is very helpful and we parents need to have this site to keep our heads on straight I know you all are on here to gain more business I think its a great way to do that even if an attorney is hired or not if you help a parent from making a mistake remember this ...help a good parent means you help a child even if a little. Yes Edna I have learned the hard way trust me my emotions have bit me in the butt in the past live and learn right:) Funny how he is meaner now than when we were married when married we slept in seperate rooms and didnt talk...now I swear now I have to deal with him more..lol I was told once to research the judges and thus I did.... I would love to study for the LSAT and see about law school I do get the big picture..even when things dont go my way I see the path on why whether I agree or not I see the rational. I always wanted to go into law in college but was afraid...now that I live in court I look at some attorneys and ask...how in the heck did you pass the bar....and if you can I sure can.........I will give you a call and chat.

Edna Carroll Straus

Edna Carroll Straus

Posted

OK But CALL ME CARROLL--OK?

Posted

I agree with my colleagues, Donald and Edna on this case. Fighting with him most likely is not going to solve your problems and if it does, it will cost a lot. I recommend mediation and reconciliation.

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