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Girlfriend is trying to blackmail me.

Portland, OR |
Filed under: Family law

Instead of applying for welfare , wick , section eight , Oregon health plan , and an Oregon trail card , my pregnant girlfriend wants to black mail me into giving her way too much money every month or else she is going to the welfare office and informing them , that I am a drug dealer . ( Marijuana ) Will the welfare office look into claims of me being a drug dealer ? Does the SEA get involved with welfare claims ? Does the IRS get involved with welfare claims ? Are there attorneys that specialize specifically in this / these type scenarios ? I have enough money to pay an attorney but not enough to reach her outrageous demands .

Attorney Answers 3


  1. Are you a drug dealer? If the answer is yes, you need to talk with a criminal law attorney ASAP. If you aren't then the only problem you MAY have is whether or not you will get parenting time with your baby, for which you may need a family law attorney, after he is born. BTW, even AFTER you pay her blackmail money, she could STILL "rat you out." I wouldn't give her money. Use it for a lawyer instead. Good luck.

    Be sure to designate "best answer." If you live in Oregon, you may call me for more detailed advice, 503-650-9662. Please be aware that each answer on this website is based upon the facts, or lack thereof, provided in the question. To be sure you get complete and comprehensive answers, based upon the totality of your situation, contact a local attorney who specializes in the area of law that involves your legal problem. Diane L. Gruber has been practicing law in Oregon for 26 years, specializing in family law, bankruptcy, estate planning and probate. Note: Diane L. Gruber does not represent you until a written fee agreement has been signed by you and Diane L. Gruber, and the fee listed in the agreement has been paid.


  2. There is no free ride. If your girlfriend applies for state aid she will have to assign her right to go after you for child support to the state and they will come after you anyway for your share of support which can include the time during her pregnancy. If you are dealing drugs you risk going to jail either because your girlfriend reports you or someone else does. Your only solution is to stop dealing drugs

    If you want to work with Marijuana as a legal medical Marijuana provider or grower find out what it takes to get licensed and make sure you are in compliance with the law. Understand that this is an evolving area of the law since the State legalizing certain uses of Marijuana doesn't over ride Federal Law which prohibits growing or selling. The federal government is still trying to decide what position to take on the issue.

    Also understand that your role in this babies life in the future may be limited if you are a known drug dealer. Your girlfriend might feel that you are a dangerous person to be around your child and may have to report to the court the reason for her concerns. Once she reports anyone might use that information as it will be in the public record and it could lead to your arrest.

    Your illegal career choice may also lead a court to restrict your right to parent or visit your child. Interestingly by trying to blackmail you for money, your girlfriend is essentially saying she is OK with you dealing drugs as long as she shares in the profits. I would certainly save her e-mails, letters, text messages, or voice mails that prove this as it may back fire on her later if you have a hearing on custody or parenting time, provided that you have stopped dealing by that time and have found a legitimate career.

    Also be advised that the worst criminals in history, like Al Capone, while never convicted of their crimes were convicted and imprisoned for tax evasion. You probably are at risk for being similarly audited and convicted of failure to pay taxes even though your income is from an illegal occupation. People with illegal occupations can and do find a way to pay taxes without admitting the source of their income to avoid additional charges of tax evasion while at the same time not admitting they committed a crime. http://www.portlandlegalservices.com

    The comments by this author to questions posted on Avvo are designed to foster a general understanding of what might be the law governing the area of the legal problem stated and suggest what might be the approach to finding a legal solution. Under no circumstances is this author acting as the attorney for the party who posted the question or as the attorney for subsequent readers to the question or response and no attorney client relationship is being formed. This attorney's comments are not intended to be a substitute for getting legal advice from a licensed attorney. A reader of this author's comments should never act on the information provided in these comments as though these comments were legal advice and should always seek legal advice in a personal consultation with an attorney in their jurisdiction before taking action. The information provided here is not intended to cover every situation with similar facts. Please remember that the law varies between states and other countries and is always changing through actions of the courts and the Legislature.


  3. In addition to Ms. Gruber's and Ms. Reisman's advice, don't post any more details about the drug dealing allegations on this site. I'm sure you already knew this, but some posters don't realize how easily accessible Avvo and other social media are and that your posts CAN be found and potentially used against you. Save the details for a private, confidential conversation with an criminal or family law attorney where your confidences are protected by the attorney-client privilege.

    My responses to posts on AVVO are not legal advice, nor do they create an attorney-client relationship. In order to provide true (and reliable) legal advice, an attorney must be able to ask questions of the person seeking legal advice and to thus gather the appropriate information. In order for an attorney-client relationship to exist, you and I both have to agree the the terms of such an agreement.

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