Filed for divorce, and got nothing... not even a separation...

I have been trying to file for divorce for the last 5 years, and my wife has been blocking me at every turn. Our children are grown, and she has never worked, so I offered her a reasonable settlement of support, the house and I would take all the debt. On the advise of a family member she got an attorney (I offered to help her talk to JAG to make sure she understood her rights), who managed to get the support payments so high that it made the divorce look like a scorched earth retreat. Almost $10,000 in lawyers fees later and I don't even have a spearation to show for my efforts. I give up! Now what?