Skip to main content

Father wants 50/50 joint custody but we as parents dont get along or communicate @all, is this in the best interest of thechild?

Lumberton, NC |

Me and father of the child dont communicate at all, even when it comes to the child we cant even have a reasonable conversation without someone getting upset, we tried mediation and it didnt work, I feel like sole custody with visitation right would be best because we cant even come to a reasonable agreement, but he wants joint custody( because he doesnt want to pay that much in child support), I feel like joint custody is not in the best interest because he bad mouths me and because we cant even communicate, what are good examples of candiates for joint custody?

Attorney Answers 2


  1. What would likely be best for the child is for you and him to learn how to communicate, and this can be done through co-parenting therapy. This requires two parents committed to the idea that the child benefits from two parents who are not fighting all the time and who can work together for the child's best interest.

    If by 50/50 joint custody you mean equal custodial time then at a minium the two of you need to be able to exchange information about school and activities and health issues.

    If by 50/50 joint custody you mean that each of you have to agree for decisions related to the child and you can't that is going to be a problem and you and him need to figure out a way to work together.

    I suggest you talk to a local attorney and try to get a sense of how judges in Robeson County view joint custody decisions because if you and the father can't agree, a local judge will decide what schedule is in the best interest of your child.

    Scott Allen is a divorce and family law attorney in Wake County, North Carolina with over seventeen years of experience. He can be reached at 919-648-0658. DISCLAIMER: YOU SHOULD SEEK THE ADVICE OF A QUALIFIED ATTORNEY IN YOUR AREA TO ANSWER YOUR SPECIFIC LEGAL QUESTIONS. SCOTT ALLEN IS LICENSED ONLY IN THE STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA AND THIS RESPONSE DOES NOT CONSTITUTE LEGAL ADVICE AND DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY/ CLIENT RELATIONSHIP. RATHER, THE RESPONSE IS IN THE FORM OF LEGAL EDUCATION AND IS INTENDED TO PROVIDE GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE MATTER IN QUESTION. ALTHOUGH A RESPONSE IS PROVIDED TO THE SPECIFIC QUESTION, THERE MAY BE OTHER FACTS AND LAW RELEVANT TO THE ISSUE THAT THE QUESTIONER HAS LEFT OUT AND WHICH WOULD MAKE THE REPLY UNSUITABLE. THEREFORE, THE QUESTIONER SHOULD NOT BASE ANY DECISION ON THE ANSWER, BUT SHOULD CONFER WITH AN ATTORNEY IN PERSON AS SATTED ABOVE REGARDING THE SPECIFICS OF HIS OR HER CASE


  2. Regardless of whether you and the child's father have joint legal custody or if one of you has sole legal custody, your child still needs to have both parents in his/her life. This means that the 2 of you need to learn how to deal with each other in a civil fashion. My suggestion is that the 2 of you schedule some time with a child psychologist and receive some training on how to effectively communicate with each other.

    With respect to the question of legal custody, even if one of you is awarded "sole" legal custody that person should always confer with the other parent when it comes to making important decisions for the child.

Child custody topics

Top tips from attorneys

What others are asking

Can't find what you're looking for?

Post a free question on our public forum.

Ask a Question

- or -

Search for lawyers by reviews and ratings.

Find a Lawyer

Browse all legal topics