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Family Law

Santa Cruz, CA |
Filed under: Family law

Basically I have an agreement with my ex about picking up the kids in mountain view everyday from the private school kids live in san jose and the school is in mountain view... I am currently paying 300.00 per month in child support as well as at times 500 for the daycare expenses. I currently live in santa cruz with my girlfriend and this is having a huge impact on my daily life.. I currently also work in santa cruz. The amount I make at work is not enough at times to support myself and everyday life.. I would estimate I spend another 100 a week on gas getting to and from san jose to mountain view to santa cruz on a daily basis. it has been way too much for me to handle and the exhaustion that happens everyday....this has put a tension on my girlfirend and me for a long time...and has broken us up...I tried to get her to find a bus for the kids but she will not go to that level. I need help on this issue and if there is something that can be done please advise..


Troy Stoeffler

Attorney Answers 4

  1. I don't suppose you and your ex could sit down and work this out.... Obviously, none of us here on Avvo has seen the court order, so we don't know what it says about pick up and drop off. it is always best to avoid court, but mist courts will order a mid point scenario.

    If your ex wife (and permanent Mom of kids) has a burr under her saddle, she may not want to agree. That said, mediation has the ability to get burrs under sales out.(Nit the bogus mediation they use at court- REAL mediation, where the parties feel heard!)

    See link below. Yes there would be some financial cost-- but the value in quality of life could be HUGE.

    Good luck.

    Ms. Straus (aka Carroll) may be reached at 800-400-8978 during regular business hours, Pacific Time, or anytime by email at: All of Ms. Straus’ responses to questions posted on Avvo are intended as helpful information based upon the facts stated in the question, and are not to be relied upon as a final legal opinion. It may not be what you wished to hear, and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Ms. Straus is licensed to practice law in California. If you would like to obtain specific legal advice about this issue, you must contact an attorney who is licensed to practice law in your state, and retain him or her. Me Straus provides “unbundled” services if you need specific assistance with a specific issue.

  2. What's your question?

  3. I agree with attorney Straus that mediation could be a viable solution -- IF the other party is inclined to be agreeable and listen to common sense. Sometimes mediation is solid gold, and other times it turns out to be nothing but a waste. It depends on who you are dealing with.

    An alternate approach would be to file a Request for Order seeking to modify the terms of that agreement. It seems to me that if you are paying $100 per week for gas to make that trip your pocketbook might be better off paying $50 per week to hire a driver to carry your children from Mountain View and taking them to San Jose. The downside of this approach surely includes that now you actually have some time with the kids every school day -- during driving time. If you get a change you may see your children less.

    One irony you may have overlooked is that by having you drive the children from school back home your ex is putting some very real trust in you. Her refusal to have anyone else do this job is an open admission that she thinks the children will be safer and better off with you than with some stranger. That trust actually implies that the odds of mediation working are decent.

    One other point -- I suggest that you NOT provide your legal name in your posting on AVVO, as it is possible that your ex might see what you posted here, and that might not be exactly what you want.

    As stated above -- I have NOT actually stated any legal opinion, because I need to know more before I can start to form one.

  4. Avvo has assigned your post "0 answer points" for Avvo lawyers. With 52 accumulated questions, I regrettably will pass over those offering "0 answer points". You might want to take this up with Avvo.

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