When agreements are entered into without a lawyer's assistance, disaster strikes. We cannot go to any case law because we cannot see your stipulation. Your stipulation controls the issue completely. Did you have a lawyer review this college plan? If not, then saving a penny back then now costs many dollars.
Bring the entire agreement to an attorney to review the details. As your question is worded there are many problems that an experienced lawyer would never have drafted.
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The details of the agreement control your rights and your obligations. You need to have an attorney review the agreement to determine if you have to pay college expenses or not.
Counsel are correct. I would say however that no counsel mentioned that if the agreement is not clear or facts have occurred since the agreement the recourse after seeking a lawyer is to go to Family court to interpret or modify the agreement. While courts are hesitant to get involved in modifying agreements it is done every day in Family court for Custody, Child Support and Education expenses.
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The determination of which college in which a child may enroll is made pursuant to the judgment/agreement controlling such decision. If it is addressed in the agreement (e.g. the parties shall agree upon which college the child matriculates), then the consent of both is required. If it is silent, the non-custodial party has probably lost any right of decision-making beyond an argument related to the cost of the institution which, hopefully for the non-custodial parent, included a provision in the agreement.
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